Wednesday, October 28, 2015


Halloween
 
The annual sweet orgy that is Halloween is upon us once more.
           Some people take the whole idea to extreme and decorate their houses as if it will protect them from harm when the dead rise! The owners of a house around the corner from where I live have so many decorations it looks like a store. On their lawn there are two huge air-filled Halloween figures, a witch and a pumpkin, always moving on windy days, on top of all the other black and orange things on their porch and on their front steps, from pumpkins to skeletons, etc. If nothing else it attracts attention. As I was walking by the house a couple of days ago I wondered for a moment if the back cat on the top step was real. It is not, but it makes you take a second look.
          In my local mall, for a week before the big day, unusual shoppers attract attention. There are witches, complete with the black teeth, white ghosts without faces, and even an ogre. I suppose the idea is to attract families with young children and to remind the rest of us to buy our candy supplies.
          And it makes kids dream of people generously filling up their plastic pumpkins, their bags or their pillow cases (as was mostly the case when I was young all those years ago!). All of them hoping they will get more goodies than their siblings and their friends. All they have to do is get dressed up. No wonder kids think this is the next best thing to heaven.
          As I was planning what to prepare for all those costumed visitors this year, I decided to try something different (without going as far as the local woman who is reputed to give out individually wrapped pickles!) and decided that apples instead of sweets would be a nice change of pace. I thought parents would no doubt be grateful, but my 12 year-old grandson pointed out that it would defeat the purpose of the whole evening. He said that his parents gave him an apple almost every day, while Halloween was meant to provide the sweet pleasures he so seldom gets to enjoy.
          I didn’t have the guts to expand on the cause of cavities, but then I suppose that eating sweets to excess once a year is not the end of the world if he eats properly the rest of the time which I know he does.
          Then my son told me that he didn’t like kids getting apples for Halloween because of the stories going around about needles (or even worse) being pushed into the fruit. So, that clinched it. I’m preparing an array of sweets to distribute to my Halloween visitors this year as I have always done.
           After all, you can’t go wrong with the tried and true.


Wednesday, October 21, 2015


Long Distance Grandparenting
I have grown very fond of a fellow who lives a few doors down. We met when he was walking his dog that looks exactly like the one who shared my life for more than a decade. I stopped to tell him so and then walked with him on my way to the store. He and his dog waited for me, and since then we have become pals.
            This guy is, I must say, very handsome. He has the most beautiful blue eyes and a smile that can melt any heart. He is inquisitive and intelligent, sensitive and charming. All the traits I like in a male.
            On weekends, usually on Saturday morning, as I am laboring through the crossword puzzle in the paper in the hope of keeping my grey cells in reasonable shape, my fellow rings the doorbell and comes in for a chat. I have a second cup of tea while he enjoys a glass of milk and recounts the latest adventures in his life. And asks questions. That’s something he does a lot. But I don’t mind. In fact, I rather enjoy it.
            He stays until the call comes that it’s time for him to get back home. You see, my friend is seven, and he has become an important person in my life.
            His grandparents live in another province, and although they manage to visit often, I know my young friend misses them terribly. When they do come for a visit, he doesn’t ring my doorbell, and some part of me misses him, but his next visit makes up for it as he recounts in detail what he and his grandparents did together.
            As I listen, I am reminded how important grandparents are in a child’s life. They give the same unconditional love as parents, and, as my friend often comments, they tell neat stories of the old days. Of course, the days he refers to are the 70s! And although I met his grandparents only briefly, I am certain he is for them a tremendous blessing. I saw the trio walking the dog on their last visit, and if a picture is worth a thousand words, that one truly spoke volumes.
            My grandchildren do not live in the same city as I do, and although they are all within driving distance, I regret not being able to see them as often as I would like. In a way, my young friend fills that void. We can all share the joys of life with a child whose own grandparents live at a distance and create new bonds, new joys. And we can give them so much in return.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Laughing at age

While it might not always be easy, laughing is a sure cure for a lot of things, including feeling sorry for ourselves because of the number of years we have lived. So, here are some jokes which I hope will brighten your day.

  • She’s the life of the party if it last until 8 p.m.
  • I’m very good to opening childproof caps. I use a hammer.
  • I smile a lot because I can’t hear what you’re saying.
  • When a little boy asked his grandfather how old he was, the man replied: I’m not sure. The little boy told his grandfather to look in his underwear. “Mine says I’m 4 to 6.”
  • A grandson asked: Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike? You’re both old.
  • Grandparents are funny. When they bend over, you hear gas leak and they blame the dog.
  • A grandmother spent time with her grandchild teaching her colors. When the little girl was leaving she said: Grandma, you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself.
  • When a little boy learned that his grandfather was 80, he asked: Did you start at 1?
  • When does a little old lady say the f*** word? When another little old lady yells BINGO.
  • Some days the supply of available swear words is insufficient to meet my demands.
  • And:
  • When I die, I want my last word to be: I left a million dollars in the ….

Thursday, October 8, 2015

How old are you?

 

Age is a matter of perspective, is it not? The number does not matter, only the way we look at life. The old poem by an unknown author which follows puts it well into words.

 

Age is a quality of mind

If you left your dreams behind

If hope is cold

If you no longer look ahead

If your ambition’s fires are dead

Then you are old

 

But if from life you take the best

And if in life you keep the jest

If love you hold

No matter how the years go by

No matter how the birthdays fly

You are not old