Persistence

Hope is the fuel of persistence and there is no time limit on that commodity. Whatever the challenge, never giving up hope no matter how dark the sky, can yield wonderful results.

            A man I know who is now in his late 60s had a stroke a few years back. Doctors said they were not optimistic about his chances of even partially regaining his previous physical ability. His children wanted to have him institutionalized, but while everyone around him could only see the dreary future ahead for him, he set out to prove them wrong.

            He held firm in his belief that he could conquer the latest hurdle life had placed in his path, and began a program to make his body relearn what it seemed to have been forced to forget. He never lost sight of his goal even when his efforts appeared to be an exercise in frustration.

            At first, there was little indication that he would ever improve, yet he always made it a point to celebrate even the smallest of victories. It fueled his hope and his desire to persist.

            Today, anyone seeing this man for the first time would not believe how dismal his physical condition was just a short time ago. He dared to attempt the impossible by believing that there always is a glimmer of hope whatever the current problem. He persisted in taking very small and painfully slow steps and today he rejoices in running.

            Those who persist, no matter the goal or the task, are winners. They have learned to make positivity the fuel that guides them. They’re easy to spot. They’re always looking for the best in people and in life.

Looking Good

It is said that there are three stages in life: youth, middle-age, and “You’re looking good!” And for some reason, I seem to be hearing the last one more and more often.

            While traveling not too long ago, I ran into a former colleague I had not seen in well over twenty years. We both stopped and looked at each other for a long moment, assessing. I could see that the face in front of me still had the traits of the past but it was more mature and, dare I say, wrinkly. I’m sure she was thinking the same thing while looking at me. We embraced briefly and the words dictated by social politeness naturally poured out of her mouth: “You haven’t changed a bit!” The “a bit” left no doubt in my mind as to her real evaluation of my aging face!

            I think we’re all guilty of avoiding the truth when facing people we haven’t been in contact with in a long time. And since we know that: “My, you look old!” or “It looks like wrinkles certainly flourish on your face,” or “Boy, you really need a facelift!” would no doubt mean that a murder would ensue, we stretch the truth. And there certainly is nothing wrong with that.

            I think that’s how: “You’re looking good!” entered our vocabulary. But it’s a not a lie as long as people are healthy and happy no matter their age. A brother-in-law of mine recently celebrated his 90^th birthday, and I can attest to the fact that he does look good. Not “for his age” as some people are often heard saying in such circumstances, but simply because he’s happy to share a contented life with his wife and family, to make laughter a priority and to regularly take time to engage in golf, a sports he’s always loved.

            Seeing him dance to mark his milestone, I decided then and there that I would take it as a compliment when people tell me I look good. More often than not, it is after all simply a true observation.

            (Or it could simply be that they need new eyeglasses!)

November 

Traditionally November has been a month to remember not only soldiers who have sacrificed so much for all of us, but also relatives and friends who have gone to their reward.

            When I was growing up, All Souls Day was a very important part of tradition, and it followed that November became a time to remember our departed loved ones and reflect on the impact they had on our lives.

            I think the Mexicans have the right idea when they mark The Day of the Dead with celebrations believing that it’s a time when loved ones return. That day is actually two days. On November 1^st, they believe that’s when children who have passed return, and that adults return on November 2^nd. Taking time to welcome their deceased loved ones with their favorite foods, drinks, etc. must certainly ease the pain of their departure.

             With all these reminders of death, I see November as a time to reflect on the passage of time and how we use it. While the month does remind us of our mortality, to me the true message is that we should live each day as though it were our last. Then we will have a lot of great days!

             That does not mean avoiding the obvious.

              In a conversation with an old acquaintance recently, she confessed that she still has not made a Will. I was astounded. Plenty of time, she said, but I suspect she believes that such a step would surely bring about her demise. I tried to tell her that all she’s doing is insuring her family will have a ton of headaches as they try to settle her estate, but I doubt I was successful.

               Too bad. I believe we all have a duty to simplify things for those who will remain behind. That’s the reason that, in addition to a Will, I have prepared a list of how I would like some personal things to be distributed. Nothing of much value, simply things that I know each of my children and grandchildren will appreciate receiving for sentimental reasons. The idea is that each recipient will have a memento and that it will be simpler for everyone concerned. That being done, I can concentrate on living.

               Recently, while putting some order in my large collection of books, I came across the book Love, Medicine and Miracles by Bernie Siegel, M.D. The book was a great success when it was published a couple of decades back. It focused on the need to have a positive attitude no matter what happens to us. Now retired, Siegel uses the internet to remind people to enjoy life if they want to have longer, healthier lives. Although death is inevitable, it is not a failure, he says, but rather our final growth experience.

Time to Remember

When I first traveled to Europe in the 60s, even though the Second World War had ended two decades earlier, the signs of that dark chapter in history were everywhere. I remember driving through towns where piles and piles of rubble marked the spots where homes, businesses and even majestic cathedrals had once stood. And in talking to people it was clear that everyone had lost someone to war. A harsh reality they certainly never forgot.

However, the sight that brought tears to my eyes was a military cemetery where crosses marking the graves of fallen soldiers stood in perfect and seemingly never-ending rows. So many young lives forever lost!

We in North America tend to forget all those who went to fight the Germans and the Japanese and never came back as well as those who came back forever marked by the battles they fought. We must remember them and make certain our grandchildren remember how much they gave to guarantee freedom.

Of course, our grandchildren are no doubt more aware of the current wars. It seems that until recently veterans were old men. Today, they are young men and women we know or have known who continue to fight for freedom and justice.

It is sad that these have to be gained with loss of life. I can only hope humanity will one day experience an era when peace reigns supreme throughout the world. Perhaps it is too much to expect of human nature, as the above photo is captioned, but in the meantime November is a time to remember. A time to remember those who came before us and gave us so much as well as those still fighting for us today. A time to remember how very fortunate we are for their sacrifice.

It’s November, let’s remember, lest we forget.

Halloween

 

The annual sweet orgy that is Halloween is upon us once more.

           Some people take the whole idea to extreme and decorate their houses as if it will protect them from harm when the dead rise! The owners of a house around the corner from where I live have so many decorations it looks like a store. On their lawn there are two huge air-filled Halloween figures, a witch and a pumpkin, always moving on windy days, on top of all the other black and orange things on their porch and on their front steps, from pumpkins to skeletons, etc. If nothing else it attracts attention. As I was walking by the house a couple of days ago I wondered for a moment if the back cat on the top step was real. It is not, but it makes you take a second look.

          In my local mall, for a week before the big day, unusual shoppers attract attention. There are witches, complete with the black teeth, white ghosts without faces, and even an ogre. I suppose the idea is to attract families with young children and to remind the rest of us to buy our candy supplies.

          And it makes kids dream of people generously filling up their plastic pumpkins, their bags or their pillow cases (as was mostly the case when I was young all those years ago!). All of them hoping they will get more goodies than their siblings and their friends. All they have to do is get dressed up. No wonder kids think this is the next best thing to heaven.

          As I was planning what to prepare for all those costumed visitors this year, I decided to try something different (without going as far as the local woman who is reputed to give out individually wrapped pickles!) and decided that apples instead of sweets would be a nice change of pace. I thought parents would no doubt be grateful, but my 12 year-old grandson pointed out that it would defeat the purpose of the whole evening. He said that his parents gave him an apple almost every day, while Halloween was meant to provide the sweet pleasures he so seldom gets to enjoy.

          I didn’t have the guts to expand on the cause of cavities, but then I suppose that eating sweets to excess once a year is not the end of the world if he eats properly the rest of the time which I know he does.

          Then my son told me that he didn’t like kids getting apples for Halloween because of the stories going around about needles (or even worse) being pushed into the fruit. So, that clinched it. I’m preparing an array of sweets to distribute to my Halloween visitors this year as I have always done.

           After all, you can’t go wrong with the tried and true.

Long Distance Grandparenting

I have grown very fond of a fellow who lives a few doors down. We met when he was walking his dog that looks exactly like the one who shared my life for more than a decade. I stopped to tell him so and then walked with him on my way to the store. He and his dog waited for me, and since then we have become pals.

            This guy is, I must say, very handsome. He has the most beautiful blue eyes and a smile that can melt any heart. He is inquisitive and intelligent, sensitive and charming. All the traits I like in a male.

            On weekends, usually on Saturday morning, as I am laboring through the crossword puzzle in the paper in the hope of keeping my grey cells in reasonable shape, my fellow rings the doorbell and comes in for a chat. I have a second cup of tea while he enjoys a glass of milk and recounts the latest adventures in his life. And asks questions. That’s something he does a lot. But I don’t mind. In fact, I rather enjoy it.

            He stays until the call comes that it’s time for him to get back home. You see, my friend is seven, and he has become an important person in my life.

            His grandparents live in another province, and although they manage to visit often, I know my young friend misses them terribly. When they do come for a visit, he doesn’t ring my doorbell, and some part of me misses him, but his next visit makes up for it as he recounts in detail what he and his grandparents did together.

            As I listen, I am reminded how important grandparents are in a child’s life. They give the same unconditional love as parents, and, as my friend often comments, they tell neat stories of the old days. Of course, the days he refers to are the 70s! And although I met his grandparents only briefly, I am certain he is for them a tremendous blessing. I saw the trio walking the dog on their last visit, and if a picture is worth a thousand words, that one truly spoke volumes.

            My grandchildren do not live in the same city as I do, and although they are all within driving distance, I regret not being able to see them as often as I would like. In a way, my young friend fills that void. We can all share the joys of life with a child whose own grandparents live at a distance and create new bonds, new joys. And we can give them so much in return.

Laughing at age

While it might not always be easy, laughing is a sure cure for a lot of things, including feeling sorry for ourselves because of the number of years we have lived. So, here are some jokes which I hope will brighten your day.

• She’s the life of the party if it last until 8 p.m.
• I’m very good to opening childproof caps. I use a hammer.
• I smile a lot because I can’t hear what you’re saying.
• When a little boy asked his grandfather how old he was, the man replied: I’m not sure. The little boy told his grandfather to look in his underwear. “Mine says I’m 4 to 6.”
• A grandson asked: Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike? You’re both old.
• Grandparents are funny. When they bend over, you hear gas leak and they blame the dog.
• A grandmother spent time with her grandchild teaching her colors. When the little girl was leaving she said: Grandma, you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself.
• When a little boy learned that his grandfather was 80, he asked: Did you start at 1?
• When does a little old lady say the f*** word? When another little old lady yells BINGO.
• Some days the supply of available swear words is insufficient to meet my demands.
• And:
• When I die, I want my last word to be: I left a million dollars in the ….