Thursday, September 25, 2014

Back in the Day
It is hard to not notice how the young people of today have it easy compared to when we were growing up. Remember?

= We grew up without the Internet.  If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up, in the card catalog.
= There was no email. We had to actually write letters with a pen (which many of us still do). Then had to walk all the way to the corner to put it in the mailbox!  Stamps were 10 cents!
= There were no MP3's or iTunes!  If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself. Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio. Instead of CD players, we had a tape deck in the car and when we'd play our favorite tape it would come undone when ejected.
= In our world without cell phones, when you left the house, you just didn't make or receive calls. You actually had to be out of touch with your friends for a while. And we didn't have caller ID. When the phone rang, you had no idea if it was your school, your boss or your bookie. You had to pick it up to find out.
 = We didn't have any fancy video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics.  We had the Atari 2600 and your screen guy was a little square and you actually had to use your imagination. 

= You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on. When it came to channel surfing you had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel.

 = Not having microwaves, when we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove.   

=And our parents told us to stay outside and play all day long.  No electronics to soothe and comfort.  And if you came back inside you were doing chores.

The question then becomes: How long would today’s kids last in the “back then” world?

 

 

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Brain Health
As the years pile on, all of us begin to notice that we may be undergoing subtle changes. Listening to those around me, one change that seems to worry people most has to do with poor memory. Or what I call forgetting to remember.
We’ve all experienced it. We walk into the kitchen and for a moment totally forget why we came in. Of course, by just stepping back a little the reason promptly comes back. A senior moment, as people call it. It makes some people worry that they are on their way to dementia. But as experts explain, dementia would be if you forgot what the kitchen is all about. 
          Senior moments happen to everyone at some point, and as a rule are not serious. But as we age, if we want to help our minds to remain healthy we must make sure our lifestyle is also healthy. With all we now know about the negatives effects of bad habits such as smoking, drug and alcohol abuse, it’s surprising to see people still abusing themselves. I always feel sad when I see older people standing outside buildings or shopping centers so they can smoke. I always wonder why they don’t take advantage of the many avenues available to get rid of the addiction once and for all.
           Keeping the mind in shape requires effort just like we need to take steps to keep the body working well for as long as possible. Exercising regularly is good for the body as well as the mind. So is a healthy diet. In addition, experts say it’s important to keep socially active and challenge the brain by learning something new, doing puzzles and having hobbies. Personally, I would add that laughing is a marvellous habit at any age, but especially as we age.
           My 89-year-old brother-in-law has always kept his sense of humor despite serious life challenges along the way. And his memory remains keen, especially when it comes to jokes. I admire him because I have trouble remembering jokes but I can laugh at his. Just as I laughed at my son’s remark when I asked him if he had read my recently published book. He replied with a straight face that he had not, but that he had a good reason: He first had to get through Green Eggs and Ham.
            Enjoy the wonder of Fall.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Positive Focus

Someone said that aging is a privilege. It is certainly better than the alternative, and while there might be challenges in aging, it is definitely an opportunity to focus on the positive aspects of our lives by deflecting negativism which causes stress and fear, two things that speed up the aging process.

A lady I have known for decades is renowned for her easy smile which has won her many friends over the years. Even when facing physical challenges, she manages to bring the positive aspects of her life to the forefront. I believe it helps her surmount easily whatever problems come her way. I visited her while she spent a few days in hospital recently for a surgical procedure. She was up and about talking and encouraging other patients, and when asked if she was in pain, she smiled. A little, she said winking, but nothing as bad as giving birth! A nice way of putting things into perspective. In effect she was saying: sure it hurts, but I’ve had pain before, so why focus on it.

Not everyone succeeds in being that positive. Many people seem to find some sort of warped pleasure in focusing on their ills and problems and discussing them at length with anyone within hearing range. It’s not always easy to cut the conversation short and slip away. One man may have found the perfect answer. When I start hearing people discuss their operations and such, he says, I simply stand up and start to undo my belt and say: you think you got it bad, let me show you what’s left of my … At that point people start to object and the focus on illness is forgotten. The first time he did this, his wife was appalled, first because he never had surgery, second because she thought it might get him arrested! Now she is grateful for the positive effect his antics generate.

 

 

 

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

On Worrying

Most of us are fascinated by what the future might hold. We want to know what will happen to us, to our loved ones, to the world. It’s no wonder seers of all stripes are so popular. Their predictions rarely hold true, and those that do are usually generalities that anyone could have predicted.

          Like many people I have succumbed to the promise of knowing the future by consulting a medium who claims to communicate with spirits. A few of the things I was told were mesmerizing and did happen as predicted. The problem was that the rest was all conjecture, so there was no way to sift through it all and be assured of what would or would not be.

          I think we waste a lot of time by worrying about the future – and the past – when we should concentrate on the present. A relative who celebrated her 98th birthday at the time of this writing is an amazing person who has made a point of living her life in the present. Despite a few physical problems her mind is as sharp as a tack. She believes that worrying about the future weakens the mind’s effort to make the most of today. She relies on God to take care of things in His own fashion.

          Worry is indeed ageing. It robs us of vitality as our mind whirls around and around the same problem for days -- and nights -- at a time. It serves no useful purpose because it doesn’t change things. For instance, we may worry that the decision an adult child has taken will lead to future problems, but worrying about it is useless. I believe that outside of making our opinions known and providing the rationale for our thinking, worry will not benefit the child. It will only affect our sense of well-being. Those who, like my aged relative, are believers find that at such time, letting go and letting God is the answer.

          Changing a mindset of a lifetime of worry habit is not always easy, but it can be done. When I am tempted to worry about whatever is happening – or I believe will happen – in my life, I sit quietly and meditate. At first, it was very difficult. My mind kept wandering to the problem I was attempting to ignore, but I stuck with it. On especially difficult days, I mediate several times in short sessions, and I have now reached a level when I can really let go.

          Some people are put off by the word meditation. They equate it to something Buddhists or Indian gurus do, not something simple that anyone can practice. There are many books on meditation, but it is really quite simple. Meditation means concentrating on something neutral or positive to clear the mind of negative thoughts.  It is as simple as focusing on your breathing. When your mind wanders back to your worries, you guide it back to refocus on your breathing.  Or you can close your eyes and let your mind stroll through a beautiful garden or fly above a mountain blanketed in freshly fallen snow, whatever you find peaceful. Start with just a few minutes a day, increasing the time little by little to feel refreshed and negate worry.

          When you train yourself to let go of useless thoughts and worry, you see a difference in the way you approach life. As someone said we cannot direct the wind, but we can indeed  adjust our sails. Mark Twain said it best: “I am an old man and I have known a good many troubles, but most of them have never happened.”

         Sunday, September 7 is Grandparents’ Day. Let’s spread the word!!