An Ending, A New Start

Isn’t it amazing how quickly this year has gone by? How could twelve months have sped by so fast. It seems we were enjoying Christmas just a short while ago, does it not? Yet, here we are again in the midst of this busy and amazing time of the year.

          The bright lights and colors all around us warm our hearts and lift our spirits. It seems that people smile more easily at strangers and are more eager to lend a hand to friends or to those who are less fortunate. And we are more ready to forgive. We live the Spirit of the Season. And, I suppose, because we know that this season of joy will end much too quickly, we are more aware than at any other time of the year of the importance of living each moment to the fullest.

         For those of us who no longer have youngsters at home, Christmas is less about the latest toys and more about spending this special time with our loved ones and sharing warm memories.

         Christmas also means we’re coming to the end of another year and that we are offered a new start in 2016. It is something that is welcomed by those of us who were tested this year and are looking to a new horizon full of hope.

         For everyone it is a time to plan the things we’ve been putting off, trips we’ve been meaning to take, friendships we’ve been wanting to renew. Indeed a time for resolutions. My resolution is in fact a prayer that the world may work toward a lasting peace.

         May your Christmas be very special. May the Spirit of the Season be with you long after the decorations have been once again safely stored away for next December.

         I’m taking time away from my blog for a few weeks to enjoy the season to the utmost, and will return in January. Love and peace.

Ageism and the Art of Aging

Everyone ages. No one escapes. As my mother used to say: it’s the only justice in the world.

Aging can be a challenge, and most of us get better at facing it with each passing year. However, not everyone goes peacefully. Some people love to bitch all the way cursing and blaming the world for their problems, real or imagined. The rest smile and take steps to improve whatever needs improving in their lives or simply accept their changing reality and make the most of years of experience.

Then aging becomes somewhat freeing, don’t you think? I mean, as you age you stop worrying about what people might think about you because you realize that they seldom do. They are too busy worrying about themselves.

Aging frees you to be yourself, to express yourself as you see fit. You no longer accept people treating you with disrespect so you face those guilty of discrimination head on. The average person might think that discrimination based on age does not exist, but it does. Ageism is a hidden cancer in our society, and it can be subtle and directed at boomers with a bit of gray hair not just the very elderly. We should not be afraid to speak up against it.

Even health care professionals are guilty of ageism, preferring to care for younger people because older people “will die soon anyway” I heard one doctor say recently when I accompanied an ailing older relative to a medical clinic. Yeah, sure, but that doctor will experience aging only if he is one of the lucky ones, and then he might well prefer receiving proper care rather than being dismissed because of his age.

No matter where we are in life, we all to fight ageism just as we do when confronted with other forms of discrimination so that everyone can feel they belong.

Then, as we get older we can feel secure in the realization that we have accumulated experience and wisdom that can benefit younger people. And we can be proud of the wisdom we continue to accumulate.

Recently, when I made a remark about life to an acquaintance, she commented that I was very wise. I felt so very proud that decades of living are yielding recognition. At last!

         May we all be recognized as being adept in the art of aging. It is after all a crowning step of life.

 

 

A New Generation

Over the years, each generation has been qualified in some way, i.e. The Boomers. What moniker should we give the newest group that is following us? Preschoolers living their lives in the world of electronics? They certainly exist in a world quite different from the one we or our children ever experienced. Today, kids as young as three or four go around playing games on their devices hardly taking time away from screens to answer the call of nature, no doubt inspired by the Millennial Generation who are proficient at texting at the speed of light.  It’s not that long ago that only a few people had television sets. What an amazing social evolution since that time!

            Today, computers dominate so many facets of our lives. They seem to even have replaced dolls for little girls. I’m not sure it is necessarily a bad thing. Today’s girls are growing up knowing that they are part of the larger world and not limited to the traditional role of females. Their options are certainly more numerous than they were for women of my generation.

            Of course, no one has ever escaped the reality of the world’s duality. Wherever humans go, whatever humans do they will face the certainty that alongside good, negativity manages to flourish. While the youngest generation may have more options than we ever did, I think parents and grandparents need to be more vigilant in assessing the games (some rather violent) and the information with which their youngest ones are bombarded. 

            There’s virtue in everyone being aware that living in front of a screen is not the only choice in life, and while today’s electronic devices are here to stay their use should be tempered so it does not become the only activity in a young child’s world.

Persistence

Hope is the fuel of persistence and there is no time limit on that commodity. Whatever the challenge, never giving up hope no matter how dark the sky, can yield wonderful results.

            A man I know who is now in his late 60s had a stroke a few years back. Doctors said they were not optimistic about his chances of even partially regaining his previous physical ability. His children wanted to have him institutionalized, but while everyone around him could only see the dreary future ahead for him, he set out to prove them wrong.

            He held firm in his belief that he could conquer the latest hurdle life had placed in his path, and began a program to make his body relearn what it seemed to have been forced to forget. He never lost sight of his goal even when his efforts appeared to be an exercise in frustration.

            At first, there was little indication that he would ever improve, yet he always made it a point to celebrate even the smallest of victories. It fueled his hope and his desire to persist.

            Today, anyone seeing this man for the first time would not believe how dismal his physical condition was just a short time ago. He dared to attempt the impossible by believing that there always is a glimmer of hope whatever the current problem. He persisted in taking very small and painfully slow steps and today he rejoices in running.

            Those who persist, no matter the goal or the task, are winners. They have learned to make positivity the fuel that guides them. They’re easy to spot. They’re always looking for the best in people and in life.

Looking Good

It is said that there are three stages in life: youth, middle-age, and “You’re looking good!” And for some reason, I seem to be hearing the last one more and more often.

            While traveling not too long ago, I ran into a former colleague I had not seen in well over twenty years. We both stopped and looked at each other for a long moment, assessing. I could see that the face in front of me still had the traits of the past but it was more mature and, dare I say, wrinkly. I’m sure she was thinking the same thing while looking at me. We embraced briefly and the words dictated by social politeness naturally poured out of her mouth: “You haven’t changed a bit!” The “a bit” left no doubt in my mind as to her real evaluation of my aging face!

            I think we’re all guilty of avoiding the truth when facing people we haven’t been in contact with in a long time. And since we know that: “My, you look old!” or “It looks like wrinkles certainly flourish on your face,” or “Boy, you really need a facelift!” would no doubt mean that a murder would ensue, we stretch the truth. And there certainly is nothing wrong with that.

            I think that’s how: “You’re looking good!” entered our vocabulary. But it’s a not a lie as long as people are healthy and happy no matter their age. A brother-in-law of mine recently celebrated his 90^th birthday, and I can attest to the fact that he does look good. Not “for his age” as some people are often heard saying in such circumstances, but simply because he’s happy to share a contented life with his wife and family, to make laughter a priority and to regularly take time to engage in golf, a sports he’s always loved.

            Seeing him dance to mark his milestone, I decided then and there that I would take it as a compliment when people tell me I look good. More often than not, it is after all simply a true observation.

            (Or it could simply be that they need new eyeglasses!)

November 

Traditionally November has been a month to remember not only soldiers who have sacrificed so much for all of us, but also relatives and friends who have gone to their reward.

            When I was growing up, All Souls Day was a very important part of tradition, and it followed that November became a time to remember our departed loved ones and reflect on the impact they had on our lives.

            I think the Mexicans have the right idea when they mark The Day of the Dead with celebrations believing that it’s a time when loved ones return. That day is actually two days. On November 1^st, they believe that’s when children who have passed return, and that adults return on November 2^nd. Taking time to welcome their deceased loved ones with their favorite foods, drinks, etc. must certainly ease the pain of their departure.

             With all these reminders of death, I see November as a time to reflect on the passage of time and how we use it. While the month does remind us of our mortality, to me the true message is that we should live each day as though it were our last. Then we will have a lot of great days!

             That does not mean avoiding the obvious.

              In a conversation with an old acquaintance recently, she confessed that she still has not made a Will. I was astounded. Plenty of time, she said, but I suspect she believes that such a step would surely bring about her demise. I tried to tell her that all she’s doing is insuring her family will have a ton of headaches as they try to settle her estate, but I doubt I was successful.

               Too bad. I believe we all have a duty to simplify things for those who will remain behind. That’s the reason that, in addition to a Will, I have prepared a list of how I would like some personal things to be distributed. Nothing of much value, simply things that I know each of my children and grandchildren will appreciate receiving for sentimental reasons. The idea is that each recipient will have a memento and that it will be simpler for everyone concerned. That being done, I can concentrate on living.

               Recently, while putting some order in my large collection of books, I came across the book Love, Medicine and Miracles by Bernie Siegel, M.D. The book was a great success when it was published a couple of decades back. It focused on the need to have a positive attitude no matter what happens to us. Now retired, Siegel uses the internet to remind people to enjoy life if they want to have longer, healthier lives. Although death is inevitable, it is not a failure, he says, but rather our final growth experience.

Time to Remember

When I first traveled to Europe in the 60s, even though the Second World War had ended two decades earlier, the signs of that dark chapter in history were everywhere. I remember driving through towns where piles and piles of rubble marked the spots where homes, businesses and even majestic cathedrals had once stood. And in talking to people it was clear that everyone had lost someone to war. A harsh reality they certainly never forgot.

However, the sight that brought tears to my eyes was a military cemetery where crosses marking the graves of fallen soldiers stood in perfect and seemingly never-ending rows. So many young lives forever lost!

We in North America tend to forget all those who went to fight the Germans and the Japanese and never came back as well as those who came back forever marked by the battles they fought. We must remember them and make certain our grandchildren remember how much they gave to guarantee freedom.

Of course, our grandchildren are no doubt more aware of the current wars. It seems that until recently veterans were old men. Today, they are young men and women we know or have known who continue to fight for freedom and justice.

It is sad that these have to be gained with loss of life. I can only hope humanity will one day experience an era when peace reigns supreme throughout the world. Perhaps it is too much to expect of human nature, as the above photo is captioned, but in the meantime November is a time to remember. A time to remember those who came before us and gave us so much as well as those still fighting for us today. A time to remember how very fortunate we are for their sacrifice.

It’s November, let’s remember, lest we forget.

Halloween

 

The annual sweet orgy that is Halloween is upon us once more.

           Some people take the whole idea to extreme and decorate their houses as if it will protect them from harm when the dead rise! The owners of a house around the corner from where I live have so many decorations it looks like a store. On their lawn there are two huge air-filled Halloween figures, a witch and a pumpkin, always moving on windy days, on top of all the other black and orange things on their porch and on their front steps, from pumpkins to skeletons, etc. If nothing else it attracts attention. As I was walking by the house a couple of days ago I wondered for a moment if the back cat on the top step was real. It is not, but it makes you take a second look.

          In my local mall, for a week before the big day, unusual shoppers attract attention. There are witches, complete with the black teeth, white ghosts without faces, and even an ogre. I suppose the idea is to attract families with young children and to remind the rest of us to buy our candy supplies.

          And it makes kids dream of people generously filling up their plastic pumpkins, their bags or their pillow cases (as was mostly the case when I was young all those years ago!). All of them hoping they will get more goodies than their siblings and their friends. All they have to do is get dressed up. No wonder kids think this is the next best thing to heaven.

          As I was planning what to prepare for all those costumed visitors this year, I decided to try something different (without going as far as the local woman who is reputed to give out individually wrapped pickles!) and decided that apples instead of sweets would be a nice change of pace. I thought parents would no doubt be grateful, but my 12 year-old grandson pointed out that it would defeat the purpose of the whole evening. He said that his parents gave him an apple almost every day, while Halloween was meant to provide the sweet pleasures he so seldom gets to enjoy.

          I didn’t have the guts to expand on the cause of cavities, but then I suppose that eating sweets to excess once a year is not the end of the world if he eats properly the rest of the time which I know he does.

          Then my son told me that he didn’t like kids getting apples for Halloween because of the stories going around about needles (or even worse) being pushed into the fruit. So, that clinched it. I’m preparing an array of sweets to distribute to my Halloween visitors this year as I have always done.

           After all, you can’t go wrong with the tried and true.

Long Distance Grandparenting

I have grown very fond of a fellow who lives a few doors down. We met when he was walking his dog that looks exactly like the one who shared my life for more than a decade. I stopped to tell him so and then walked with him on my way to the store. He and his dog waited for me, and since then we have become pals.

            This guy is, I must say, very handsome. He has the most beautiful blue eyes and a smile that can melt any heart. He is inquisitive and intelligent, sensitive and charming. All the traits I like in a male.

            On weekends, usually on Saturday morning, as I am laboring through the crossword puzzle in the paper in the hope of keeping my grey cells in reasonable shape, my fellow rings the doorbell and comes in for a chat. I have a second cup of tea while he enjoys a glass of milk and recounts the latest adventures in his life. And asks questions. That’s something he does a lot. But I don’t mind. In fact, I rather enjoy it.

            He stays until the call comes that it’s time for him to get back home. You see, my friend is seven, and he has become an important person in my life.

            His grandparents live in another province, and although they manage to visit often, I know my young friend misses them terribly. When they do come for a visit, he doesn’t ring my doorbell, and some part of me misses him, but his next visit makes up for it as he recounts in detail what he and his grandparents did together.

            As I listen, I am reminded how important grandparents are in a child’s life. They give the same unconditional love as parents, and, as my friend often comments, they tell neat stories of the old days. Of course, the days he refers to are the 70s! And although I met his grandparents only briefly, I am certain he is for them a tremendous blessing. I saw the trio walking the dog on their last visit, and if a picture is worth a thousand words, that one truly spoke volumes.

            My grandchildren do not live in the same city as I do, and although they are all within driving distance, I regret not being able to see them as often as I would like. In a way, my young friend fills that void. We can all share the joys of life with a child whose own grandparents live at a distance and create new bonds, new joys. And we can give them so much in return.

Laughing at age

While it might not always be easy, laughing is a sure cure for a lot of things, including feeling sorry for ourselves because of the number of years we have lived. So, here are some jokes which I hope will brighten your day.

• She’s the life of the party if it last until 8 p.m.
• I’m very good to opening childproof caps. I use a hammer.
• I smile a lot because I can’t hear what you’re saying.
• When a little boy asked his grandfather how old he was, the man replied: I’m not sure. The little boy told his grandfather to look in his underwear. “Mine says I’m 4 to 6.”
• A grandson asked: Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike? You’re both old.
• Grandparents are funny. When they bend over, you hear gas leak and they blame the dog.
• A grandmother spent time with her grandchild teaching her colors. When the little girl was leaving she said: Grandma, you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself.
• When a little boy learned that his grandfather was 80, he asked: Did you start at 1?
• When does a little old lady say the f*** word? When another little old lady yells BINGO.
• Some days the supply of available swear words is insufficient to meet my demands.
• And:
• When I die, I want my last word to be: I left a million dollars in the ….

How old are you?

 

Age is a matter of perspective, is it not? The number does not matter, only the way we look at life. The old poem by an unknown author which follows puts it well into words.

 

Age is a quality of mind

If you left your dreams behind

If hope is cold

If you no longer look ahead

If your ambition’s fires are dead

Then you are old

 

But if from life you take the best

And if in life you keep the jest

If love you hold

No matter how the years go by

No matter how the birthdays fly

You are not old

 

 

Reflections on Change

Mostly because they feel so comfy, I tend to wear some clothes more often than others. That was exactly the case with a summer-weight night shirt that I had for years. I kept putting it away in September and getting it out again in the spring.

            This year, however, there was no way I could justify putting it away again for its annual cold weather slumber. It had holes in it, holes that were getting bigger, so I had to throw it out. I had to be strong, accept this change in my life and go on.

            Life is indeed the management of change. Some are of little consequence, like my night shirt, but others have a more profound effect.

            One of my sons and his family recently loss their beloved dog. It has been a period of grief and adjustment to a changing reality.  On hearing the news, another son wisely said that they had gotten a gift. The remark took me a little by surprise, especially since I was also grieving in my own way the loss of a wonderful animal who was my friend whenever I visited. When we face a loss it is a gift that helps us grow in wisdom, my son added. He’s right, of course. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, as the saying goes.

            After the grieving, the family will grow to a point where memories of their dog will make them smile and realize how fortunate they were to have had the animal for a number of years.

            So it is with every change in our lives. We eventually accept and turn our attention to the new road ahead and its possibilities.  

            Of course, as we age, it seems that change becomes more frequent. We all experience subtle changes in our body, for example. Things we did without thinking have a way of becoming somewhat more challenging. At one point or another most of us realize that we need “longer arms” to read fine print. Or we become aware of our limitations when it comes to staying up late. And then we often have to face change in our relationships as children, siblings or friends move away. Some even pass on.

            We accept these because we realize that life is unfolding has it has always done and will continue to do. And we become wiser because of it.

Alzheimer’s Disease
September is World Alzheimer’s Disease Month. Simply hearing the name of this disease makes middle-aged people wonder when, not if, they will fall prey to this most common form of dementia. Although someone is diagnosed as having Alzheimer’s every 68 seconds in the U.S. not everyone will get the disease, and the good news is that there is evidence that some strategies can help reduce the risk of getting the disease.

            Good clean living, as my grandmother used to say, could help reduce the risks of having Alzheimer’s. Anything we do to keep the body healthy is also good for the brain. That certainly entails avoiding smoking, drugs and alcohol, and exercising regularly. A lady I know who will soon be 89 years young and is very healthy has a simple philosophy: move. Too many people don’t move enough, she says, especially after they retire. She, on the other hand, takes care of cleaning her house which is always sparkling clean. She is also an avid gardener in the good months. In short, she is always moving and as result is reaping remarkable benefits.

            That lady also believes that eating a healthy diet makes a great deal of difference when it comes to avoiding decline. There is clear evidence that she may be right. Everyone should have a plant based diet that includes lots of veggies and fruit along with lean, good quality proteins while avoiding added sugar and transfats. My lady friend limits her intake of red meat and eats lots of fish, and there is always a bowl of nuts on her dining room table to munch on during the day.

            Experts agree that in order the reduce the risks of getting Alzheimer’s, people should challenge their brain every day. There are so many ways of accomplishing this. Learning something new is high on that list. My lady friend keeps busy with painting in the months when she is unable to garden; she started to take lessons at 70, and has produced some lovely pieces. A man in his 60s I know makes it a point to learn a new word each and every day. There are so many things to learn and do, it’s a pity not everyone wants to participate. Doing crossword puzzles regularly is something I’ve been doing for decades, and I always learn something new.     

            Alzheimer’s results in short-term memory impairment. But if you occasionally forget things—have a senior moment, or a senior fart as my friend Barb calls it—it does not mean that you suffer from the disease. According to experts, a mature brain tends to experience moments of rest. These pauses are real and are the reason we experience occasional memory blanks.

Research to find a cure and new treatments for Alzheimer’s continue so there is hope for the future. If you or someone you know is affected, talk to your doctor and reach out to resources in your community. 

Researchers with the UC Davis Alzheimer’s Disease Center and Rutgers University have found that vitamin D insufficiency among the elderly is highly correlated with accelerated cognitive decline and impaired performance such as memory loss associated with Alzheimer’s disease. The effect is “substantial,” with individuals with low vitamin D declining at a rate three times faster than those with adequate vitamin D levels.
            It would be wise for boomers to talk to their doctors about vitamin D.

 

 

Madness

Well, it’s official, retailers have gone mad! I was in my local shopping mall yesterday afternoon and simply could not believe my eyes when I saw store clerks unpacking Christmas decorations and filling shelves. It’s definitely getting out of hand. After all since it’s mid-September there’s three and a half months to go before Christmas. Why can’t retailers wait until Halloween has come and gone before enticing us with Yule fare?

            I can only imagine how young mothers must dance around reality when their youngsters get all excited about Santa in September. Can the young ones really anticipate a holiday for that length of time? I think not.

            At least at the end of November colorful decorations begin appearing everywhere outside so that everyone is on the same page. How can Christmas be a concern long before the annual parade of Halloween costumes appears for trick or treating. All I can say is that I feel sorry for youngsters who must be all mixed up when they see Halloween costumes and Santa suits displayed side by side.

            I must be getting old, but the whole Christmas in September irritates me. Like many of you, I’m sure, I remember the days when Christmas fever hit in November for retailers. In those days we weren’t sick and tired of Christmas by the time December came along.

            But now with Christmas already invading stores in September, what will be displayed in December? Easter eggs and bunnies? Or perhaps beach wear and toys for summer?

            At some point it becomes ridiculous!

 

Hoorah for Grandparents

I must apologize for stating in last week’s blog that Grandparents’ Day was last weekend. It has been brought to my attention that it is in fact this coming Sunday, September 13. All of us who are grandparents owe it to ourselves to celebrate.

            And we do have a lot to celebrate: Grandparents add a great deal to the joy of family life. Who does not remember their grandparents being the instigators of special moments in their lives: going to their house for Sunday dinner or for special occasions like Christmas, or taking a walk in the park with a grandfather who imparted the wisdom of his years, or learning to cook or sew with a patient grandmother. Now it’s our turn to fill our grandchildren’s basket of memories.

            Grandparents may be more “hip” today, more “with it”, i.e. communicating electronically with their grandchildren rather than through snail mail, but that has not changed the familial bond which is still very much cherished by both the older and younger generation. After all, grandparents fulfill a role no one else can.

            We, as grandparents, influence the younger ones’ way of looking at the world. We give the same unconditional love their parents do, but we let the parents dictate everyday actions while we have the time to answer questions (even those impossible to answer such as how old God is); to tell tales of the past (even tall tales at times!) that delight; to tell them about our own grandparents; to let our grandchildren express their worries and pains; to show them practical skills, etc. In short, we are role models and coaches who complete our grandchildren’s lives on an array of levels.

            That’s worth celebrating, don’t you think?

            Of course, Grandparents’ Day is still very much a milestone people skip over, so it’s up to all of us who have grandchildren to get our trumpets out and spread the word. It’s more than time grandparents got the recognition they deserve.

 

Welcoming Autumn

In the large park around the corner from my house, every spring the city puts up what I like to call condos for birds. These large bird houses all in a row have three levels each with openings on four sides. The sweet sounds of the avian population living there for the summer are always delightful.  But as I witnessed this morning, now that the nights are quickly cooling, the sounds are gone and the birds enjoying life in a warmer climate.

Although summer is not yet over and the days are still very warm, the empty bird condos are to me a first indication that autumn is well on its way. A second is certainly the small leaves that are quietly—and almost with apology—starting to break away from their perch and scatter to the ground.  They do so before the trees have had time to put on their annual colourful show which will slowly take place over the next few weeks.  Each of the four seasons heralds change of course, but the change brought on by autumn seems to me to be somewhat bolder. And perhaps it needs to be to prepare us for the cold wind of winter not far behind.

I like autumn. The less oppressive and less humid air is welcomed after the summer heat so that walks in the country can be longer. It’s also a time when busyness returns: people are back at work, kids are in school, adult classes and group activities of all stripes are starting up again. I find that the increased activity brings with it a new vitality and new challenges. That’s always a plus for us who are less involved in the traditional work scene and have less family responsibility. Far from being a time to deplore, autumn opens up so many opportunities if we take the time to look for them, whether it’s learning about history, the arts, music, or computers; rediscovering a musical instrument; going back to bowling or curling; taking a yoga class; looking for volunteering opportunities; or writing the family history in order to leave a precious heritage for children, grandchildren and beyond.  It’s a time to get going.

Have a great autumn and spread the word that this year September 6^th is Grandparents’ Day.

(Photo: FreeFoto.com)

 

 

The Aging Mind

Aging is blamed for a lot of things that may have nothing to do with the number of years we have lived. Over the years, a neighbor and I have made a habit of discussing the books we read, trying to keep our choices eclectic as much as possible. Recently, she told me she had decided to stop reading complaining that her aging mind was acting up. Since she is in her early sixties, I thought the characterization a little pejorative, but nevertheless listened to her reasoning. “I can’t concentrate anymore,” she whined. “I have to keep rereading the same page to remember what the book is all about.”

          The more we talked, the more I began to understand that her reading choices of late had not been judicious, and she was finding the subjects dull and boring. No wonder she had to keep on rereading everything.  It had nothing to do with age, but rather all to do with her mind not being fully utilized and therefore unable to avoid wandering. She is reading once again paying more attention to the type of material that can hold her interest.

           Memory is blamed for things that may have nothing to do with aging. “I keep forgetting things,” people say. Or as a friend says: “I have these brain farts!”

            Instead of simply thinking that you’re on your way to dementia, why not try to assess—and correct—why you might be forgetting things. Here are some examples I read about recently:

 -Are you absent-minded because you’re still trying to do ten things at the same time? If so, you might simply be over-loading your thoughts;

 --Are you bored with your life and a little depressed? Why not try to make small changes that will brighten your outlook.

 -Are you preoccupied by a personal problem? If your mind keeps wandering to something that’s upsetting you, it limits your ability to focus on other things.

 -Are you grieving? Grieving the loss of a spouse, a friend, a pet, or facing an empty nest, can play havoc with our ability to remember things. Time and a friendly ear might be needed to accept a new reality.

 -Are you lonely? If your family and friends have scattered you might be wallowing in loneliness which might well affect your memory. Why not try to make new friends by going out more or joining a group to meet people with the same interests.

 -Are you disorganized? Some people think they’ll be able to remember things without jotting anything down. Big mistake. We all need reminders of medical and dental appointments, for example, since many are made weeks in advance and can be forgotten at any age. The use of an agenda to keep track of things that must be done, big things and small things as well, can make life more pleasant.

             Now, what was I suppose to do this afternoon?

 

Technological Advances

Some years ago, one of my sons gave me a cell phone as a Christmas gift because he didn’t want me traveling alone without a means of communicating in case of problems.

            It made me feel secure. I have upgraded it a couple of times, but it’s still just a phone which allows me to make calls, send texts and take pictures. That’s all I need at the moment. It certainly is not as smart as my children’s and grandchildren’s devices which keep them connected all the time with apps for anything and everything.

            It seems to me technological innovations have been coming on stream at an amazing pace in the last few years. Faster than at any other time in the past. Those of us who remember when The Beatles took the pop world by storm, have seen many new technologies over the years, but these changes were gradual. Today you turn around and some new gadget is in the offing. You’ve got to upgrade your computer before being completely at ease with your current software or touch-screen capabilities, CDs (marvels that would never wear out) have given way to Blu-ray, etcetera. To say nothing of eyewear that can take pictures and keep you connected to the Internet.

            In the early 80s, a calculator watch made by Casio hit the market and was considered a marvel. BTW it still sells online. Today we can keep in constant touch with the Apple watch and a choice of apps. Personally, I’m not sure that I’d want to use a screen that small. Those of us who make use of reading glasses most certainly prefer using something a little larger.

            And what’s in the future? Now there is talk of apps being developed so they can be applied to clothing. So you’d wear your t-shirt and press one of your apps when you need info or data. As a woman, I’m not sure I’d like that. For example, would there be a guarantee that the apps would not be offensively placed?

            And there is also talk of apps being developed for use in cars. The idea at the moment is that hand gestures would activate their use. I can just imagine what that would look like! Should be fun for other drivers!

            And selfies could take on a whole new meaning with cameras on personal drones. The idea is that you would be able to get a video of yourself as you do things like walk, jog, ski or run with the camera turning around you. I don’t know about you, but I can see a whole new world of problems if everybody gets one!   

And what else? The question right now is whether or not we should be afraid of artificial intelligence which could one day outsmart mankind. I’ve got an idea, why don’t we perfect artificial intelligence to eliminate terrorism. Would that not be great for all of us?

 

 

 

Summer Wear

As we age, like it or not, our bodies change. We tend to put on a few pounds and may find ourselves with some bulges that were not there just a few years ago. To me, that means that dressing to camouflage accordingly is important if we want to look our best.

            This summer, as I people watched, it became quite clear that not everyone is concerned with dressing to suit their bodily shape. I saw women of a certain age, who should know better, trying to look young by cramping fat hips into leggings better suited for teenagers with perfect shapes, while others were wearing tight tees that emphasized expanding waists. 

            And then I saw men wearing belts that emphasized fat bellies. To me, trying to minimize those bellies under loose shirts would have been a better choice.

            I find that in the summer months, some people seem to care little about the image they project and what people think of their attire no matter their shape. Nobody is perfect, right? Of course, but that doesn’t mean that we need to bring attention to aspects of our bodies that have found a way to expand over the years.

            A friend of mine who has put on a few more pounds than she would have liked, now dresses in flowing tops and skirts. She avoids clingy knits that look great on those with perfect bodies, but have a different effect when worn by less-than-perfect bodies. As a result she is always elegant, no matter the time of day or the occasion.

Of course, we should live and let live, but I say thank God that we can look forward to many cooler months when everyone will need to wear a jacket or a coat, perfect for deemphasizing imperfections.

Summer Woes

After a few weeks away from my blog, it’s nice to get back to a routine.

           On a particularly muggy day in July, I remarked that it was hot; my son wisely replied:  Mom, it’s summer!

            It seems to me that no matter how many summers we have seen, we tend to forget that it does get rather warm in July and August in this part of the world. And by the same token, when winter comes around, we are somewhat shocked when the temperature dips to what we consider an indecent level.

            Perhaps it is in our nature to complain about the weather whether in winter or summer. One thing I’m sure of is that the complaints will multiply as climate change becomes more and more pronounced. It has been confirmed that the temperature of our planet has definitely increased in the last year and will no doubt continue to do so.

Can we reverse the trend?

            It all depends who is talking. Some say we are already well on our way to doing so, others have a more negative view of what lies ahead, not only temperature-wise but also climate change-wise i.e. that we’ll be seeing more and more natural disasters.

            One thing I’m certain of, is that the grandparents I know, as well as myself, are worrying about this uncertainty as we watch the young ones grow. What will happen in 30 or 40 years? Will the temperature of our planet affect human life itself? Perhaps not if the current trend of reducing dependency on fossil fuels and increasing our use of solar and wind power continues.

            The new electric cars are certainly a step in the right direction, and the concept is expected to be feasibly adaptable to aircrafts. Wouldn’t that be something? Instead of spewing waste from fossil fuel into the atmosphere as they soar, the countless planes that dirty our air every day would keep it clean for future generations.

            The part of me who believes that this is possible has a positive view of the climatic future. I pray it will become a reality.

             Now, something to make you smile: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. “It means carrying a child."

Summertime Grounding

Summertime and the living is easy, the old song says. The living is indeed easy in this part of the world after a harsh winter as we make the most of the warm months in the great outdoors.

            The good weather makes us all feel better, but there seems to be another reason for improved mood. According to environmental medicine which looks at the interactions between human health and the environment the surface of the earth offers energy linked to our health and wellness.

            I don’t know about you, but as a child being raised in the country, I still remember the pleasure of walking barefoot outside in the summer. Today, researchers call this and other outdoor activities in nature earthing. It essentially means coming into contact with the surface of the earth, something we don’t do often in our cities today.

            Summertime is a good time to reap the benefits of earthing which studies have found may protect against stress and depression and strengthens the immune system. It simply is a matter of being in contact with the earth by walking in a nature trail or in a forest, swimming in the clear cool waters of a lake, walking on a beach, camping, or simply relaxing with a good book under a lush tree. Or, for those with a green thumb, gardening, even if it is only in pots on a balcony.

            So much to do, so little time, so I’m taking a few weeks off from The Booming Life to enjoy as much as I can of this wonderful season and get grounded in nature. I will be back in August.

            Have a wonderful summer!

 

Successful Aging

Successful aging is the expression du jour these days. And rightly so. We talk of successful careers, successful marriages, and a slew of other successes, so why should we not talk about making aging a successful time of life? As we reach mid-life we should all be aware that it is up to each of us to manage the art of aging smart.

To me, it means being involved in life and developing effective strategies so that we can cope with change and feel that we matter. Social ties are important at all ages, but as we get on in years, things change because of life events. Children may move away, siblings and friends may die which may alter our family and social relationships. It then becomes imperative to get up and get involved in new activities as much as we can to meet new people.

But with age there is a tendency to become set in our ways. We do things the way we’ve always done them, so it can be difficult to take steps in a new direction, to step out of our comfort zone. I say hooray to those who try. A sixty-eight-year-old neighbor who recently lost his wife, was telling me the other day that he used to enjoy bowling when he was younger, so he decided to get back to it by joining a group that bowls every week. It’s a night out and for a while I forget my loss, he said. I think he’s definitely aging successfully. Especially since he’s also trying to grow a mustache, something he had been thinking of doing for a while. It’s great that he is finally taking the step.

We all have different abilities. When singing voices were handed out, I must not have been in the room because I cannot carry a tune, and I envy those who can sing. Like a former colleague who informed me the other day at lunch that when she retired a few months ago, she joined a choir. Good for her, I say. Not only is she making the most of her talent and extending her social circle, it is said that singing is good for the mind as well as the body.  Now that’s successful aging!

The choices are numerous. If you want to read about what boomers, some well-known, have and are still doing, take a look at Sanford Holst’s book Boomers Rock Again. It’s sure to inspire.

 

 

Amazing Creativity

           A while back I wrote “iPod in rice” on a piece of paper which I put on a container on the kitchen counter at my son’s house.  My grandson’s iPod had gone through the wash cycle and no longer worked. Someone had told him that putting it in rice would fix the problem, so I buried the device in the white grain. Since his parents were out, I thought it would be wise to put an explanatory note on the container.

To tell you the truth, I didn’t expect much. I mean, how could a grain as ancient as rice be of any help to such a modern device. But lo and behold, it was. A week later my grandson was proud to call me to tell me that his iPod was again working properly. I find that totally amazing. Don’t you?

The creativity of mankind is as old as time.  Modern gadgets result in modern problems, but somehow we are able to find adequate solutions. Perhaps that was the idea from the start. A “let’s see how long it takes them to figure it out” sort of approach by the Universe. I believe we have all the solutions. The trick is to be able to fit them to the right questions. And that’s what researchers are attempting to do all the time no matter their field of study.

Sometimes answers and discoveries come up totally by accident, whether it’s in the medical field or any other area of endeavor. Perhaps the Universe is the one guiding. 

Makes sense to me. If rice can be used to draw humidity from inside a modern electronic gadget and revive it, surely the same principle can be applied to countless elements in our world. All we need is to nurture our ability to be amazed. At any age.

 

 

 

 

 

A Question of Time

My eleven-year-old grandson was recently expounding on the reasons why, he believes, school days and holidays should be switched. He believes there are too many days when he has to go to school. I can certainly see his point of view. When I was his age, there was no end to the time spent in the classroom.

However, time is an amazing thing. It goes from being painfully slow to racing at the speed of light—or so it seems—in just a few decades. At first it loses its ability to stand still then begins to rush quite dramatically as if pushed by an undisciplined wind. When you’re busy with work and raising a family, there’s never enough time for all you want to do. And when you retire, whether it is a full retirement or you still work part time, you are amazed that there never seems to be enough time to do all the things you want to do, and you wonder how you ever found time to work. But you realize you’re not the only one to see time as an ever changing commodity when you hear your children bemoan the fact that they run out of time.

But seeing time fly by is not all bad. It reminds us that we’d better get busy doing the things we want to do and stop putting them off because as we all know, without warning, time could run out of steam.

The other morning I was leisurely working on shaping my toenails at 8 a.m. when I realized that the demands on my time have changed drastically. When people are going to school or working, 8 a.m. is a time of necessary rushing to catch the bus or the train, or to get in the car to make it on time. When you’re working at home, time priorities are no longer dictated by others. You are the master of your own schedule. Other people no longer impose time restrictions on you unless it is for important appointments like the doctor or the dentist.

The rest of the time you can sleep in when you’ve had trouble falling asleep the night before or when you stayed up to watch an interesting TV program or to work on a hobby. And you can eat when it pleases you, when you’re hungry rather than at the preordained time of a lunch break. Those things I find to be the most welcomed aspects of getting older. Finally, your time is yours, you are the master of your day.

That means that you can indulge in long lunches, you can travel city streets and highways when the traffic is less intense, you can grocery shop on a week-day morning instead of on busy evenings or weekends. And you can shape your toenails at whatever time pleases you. Or, can you?

The fact that your time is your own does not escape your children who feel they can impose on you to sit with the grandkids whenever … a day, or a week. You’re not doing anything important that week are you? they ask. Well, you say, we wanted to take a trip to wherever. You can do that anytime, can’t you? they retort. And since you enjoy spending time with the grandkids, how can you refuse!  And so it goes. Doing your own thing at any time is a road with a few bumps, but who’s complaining.