Looking Back

I’ve often thought that everyone should be born with an instruction booklet for the life ahead. A booklet that would tell us the end result of each of the many choices we all face along the way. Then we would be certain of choosing the right road, of doing the right thing. Of course that is fantasy.

As we age, there is a tendency to examine, and reexamine, our lives, to wonder what would have happened if we had opted for the road not taken. Would we be better off? Happier? Of course, we’ll never know because we traveled the way we chose and we have to be satisfied with that.

However, short of having had an instruction booklet, we must acknowledge that our instincts and intuition have guided us along the way to what was meant to be.

Some years back a colleague told me that while engaged he met another woman and somehow knew that she was the one he should marry. So he followed what his gut was telling him, broke his fiancée’s heart and married the new woman. They have been tremendously happy ever since. But so has his first fiancée who married a man she had once dated. 

            I think we can pay a price for not following our intuition. After being divorced, a friend confided in me that when she was walking down the aisle of the church in her wedding dress and saw her husband-to-be in the front her gut told her that it was a mistake, but she went ahead with the ceremony anyway. Would it have been a movie, she would have turned on her heels and rushed out of the church, but it was real life and she thought about the money her parents had spent and all the people there. Because she didn’t want to make a scene she paid the price. The marriage lasted only a few miserable years.

            In a movie I saw recently, Lauren Bacall complains to her daughter, Barbra Streisand who has moved out, that an old woman should not be left alone with her thoughts. The point, of course, is that revisiting one’s life is a risky endeavor. There is no point in chastising ourselves for the past and what should have been. I believe that we should simply acknowledge that we did our best and leave it at that.

            Besides, perhaps the Universe was keeping an eye on things and making sure we would make the right decisions – the ones we made.

           

Summer Shapes

Summer is great after a long, cold winter. We shed coats and sweaters and go sleeveless, and replace jeans with shorts, and boots with sandals. And we feel the joy of total freedom. We can walk faster because we’re not weighed down with clothing and there are no icy sidewalks!

            However, there is one drawback to light clothing: flaws have nowhere to hide. The world sees the real you whether, like me, it is varicose veins in the back of your legs or an ugly scar on your upper arm.

            But what I find is most evident in summer is the extra pounds people carry, a fact that is mostly hidden when we dress for colder weather.

            Recently, I was in a large mall and found myself people watching as I sat waiting for a friend to join me. I could hardly believe the percentage of people who carried extra pounds. And I am not talking about a few pounds we all seem to put on as the years pile on. I’m talking about massive poundage, often as protruding bellies or wide rear ends. It is not pretty! Especially when people choose tight clothing.

            But I think there are ways to improve the look these people project. For one thing, as far as I am concerned really overweight people, whether male or female, would benefit from staying away from knits, especially tight t-shirts. However, if one’s arse (as the British tend to say) is wider than two regular theatre seats, you owe it to yourself to consider wearing flowing garments. As I heard a woman telling a friend not too long ago: I took a good look at myself in the mirror and realized that soon a tent would be the only thing that would fit me. I decided it was than time for me to spare people’s eyes and trim down.

Great idea. Not only would overweighed people look better in summer apparel, they would be doing their health an immense favour.

Smile

Because I live near water, in my world summer means boats. All kinds of boats, from canoes to small fishing boats to impressive inboards. There’s even a boat that can take two dozen or so people across from one side of the lake to the other for a few dollars, a trip that takes almost a half hour. 

            As I was walking along the shore one day recently I saw a gentleman in an electric-powered mobility chair approach and easily manoeuver the incline of the ramp to the boat. I suspect this was not the first time he was making the trip!

            What I found interesting was that he had a wide smile for everyone else on board as he greeted them.  He cannot get around easily, yet he did not let that prevent him from smiling, enjoying life and taking a nice boat ride on a glorious summer afternoon.

            Would it not be great if everyone made smiling a priority instead of frowning as so many people do? To quote Charlie Chaplin: “You’ll find that life is still worthwhile if you just smile.”

            I certainly agree, but these days it’s especially important to smile because you never know who is taking your picture since everyone seems to have a phone that is also a camera. Or perhaps someone is scanning your face with facial recognition software. We are told it is useful for a variety of reasons from public safety and security to people counting, but I am sure someone somewhere will find more nefarious uses.

            Not much we can do about it as technology continues to progress at blinding speed. So smile as you enjoy life because you never know when you’ll be on camera, candid or otherwise.

           

What are you doing?

Whatever it is, I hope you’re having a great time.

As for me, I’m getting ready for a change of pace and will be away

from my blog for the next few weeks. Back in August.

Have a great summer!!

Might Just As Well ...

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.
3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
6. If all is not lost, where is it?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.
10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?
16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.
17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . . I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.

19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

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Seeking Humor

We hear all the time that people looking for a mate want someone with a sense of humor. That is not simply a frivolous trait, it is an important component of overall health. Norman Cousins who laughed himself back to health with laughter after a devastating diagnosis famously said that an “adequate share of humor and laughter represent an essential part of the diet of the healthy person.” Ergo, looking for a mate with a sense of humor is simply seeking someone who is healthy.

I read recently about a woman who recounted that one day she went driving in the hope of finding a place where she could commit suicide. She wasn’t sure how and where she would do it, all she knew is that she could no longer keep going. As it happened the radio was on and the program host made a joke which suddenly made her smile. She hadn’t smiled in a long time, but the simple fact that she did smile made her realize all was not as bleak as she thought. She had welcomed humor. She decided to give life another try for one more day, she told herself, and that one extra day turned into days that made it possible for her to find a solution to her problems.

Mark Twain said, with humor “all our irritations and resentments flit away.” When we try to joke about the annoyances in our lives they become less important. And when we joke about whatever scares us it becomes less frightening. Just as we try to remove the fear our young grandchildren may experience by turning it around and making a game of it so they can deal with the fear, whether a monster under the bed or a scary noise.

Finding humor in whatever situation saddens us at whatever age should be a priority. It is certainly a good alternative to brooding in misery and despair.

 

Stuff

As the years add up we become aware of how much “stuff” we’ve accumulated over the years. Then, if you’re like me, you begin to consider that downsizing is a must. In my case, downsizing is an ongoing effort.

            Whenever I go through my cupboards and closets and see things I no longer use, I put them aside to sort later. When the pile is big enough I make packages for my local charity second-hand store. The shop welcomes all donations that can be useful to people with little money, but it is always especially looking for clothing. To me it’s great to downsize my closet while helping others at the same time. 

            A while back, I came across a couple of wool blankets that had been in a closet for at least a decade, yet I had not used them in years. When I brought them to the second-hand shop last fall, it was great to see the lady in charge thank me several times. She said she knew a family that had an urgent need for blankets. I must say that I left feeling pleased that I had made the effort to bring comfort to someone else.

I am downsizing in small doses, but I know that at my next move, I’ll have to be prepared to get rid of much more stuff in an organized manner. That stuff will include furniture that I’ve already begun to sell. To facilitate the process, I’ve found that taking pictures and offering the items on line is a good way to go. I recently sold an old sewing machine that no longer worked but was housed in an antique cabinet the buyer had been looking for. I was thrilled, so was she. People go on line when looking for specific items and you never know what will catch their eye.

Another way to go when you have a lot of stuff to get rid of is certainly the garage or yard sale. You display small and large items and let treasure hunters have a great time examining everything, something I myself have been known to do over the years.

Preparing for such a sale is time consuming but it can be rewarding to see the stuff you no longer use make someone else happy. I think it’s good to remember that while people are looking for great deals at these sales it certainly does not mean that you’ve got to give things away.  As part of the planning process for your own yard sale it’s a good idea to take the time to look at the prices at other yard sales so you have an idea how to price your own stuff.

Since you surely will not get rid of all your stuff, there are removal companies that can pick up the rest to donate it or recycle it. You will need to pay for this service, but it’s a good way of clearing everything out.

During the summer months, I still enjoy visiting garage and yard sales in my neighbourhood.  Of course, now I have a clear purpose in mind because I search for books and dvds. It’s amazing the treasures you can find for a couple of dollars.