Lost and Found
While winter weather has barely arrived, the annual phenomenon of lost items is well on its way. I mean things like a lonely mitt (usually in a small size), a scarf or even a tuque ending up on the sidewalk, in the snow. Kind souls pick these up and put them on fences or other handy places so they may be retrieved by their owners, more often than not children who got too hot for a scarf or had to remove a mitt to show something to a friend. Or got into a fight.
Adults also loose things. Getting out of my car a couple of days ago at a grocery store, one woman’s glove on the ground caught my eye. It had no doubt fallen while the owner was putting groceries into her car. I put the glove on top of a recycling container near the entrance to the store in the hope that the woman would return once she realized one of her gloves was missing. Hope she did. It looked expensive.
But what I saw the next day still has be baffled. Walking along on the sidewalk a woman’s booth was displayed upside down on top of one of the posts holding the plastic mesh the city puts around the lower section of small trees to protect them during the months of bad weather. My first thought, of course, was how did the woman get home with only one booth? Must have been one hell of a Christmas party! Was she carried? By whom? There has to be quite a story there!
It’s not always easy to find things once you drop them in the snow. Why getting into my car during the last snowfall, my keys slipped out of my hands, and the more I tried to dig them out with my gloved hands, the more the snow seemed to want to play hide and seek. It took me a while to dig down to the pavement and retrieve the darn things, but it was a lesson well learned for an old bird like me. Now my vigilance about not dropping keys or anything else in the snow is sharper.
A New Generation
According to those who study social trends, it appears that the new generation is much less attached to things than we were. In the ‘old days’ kids had to have a license to drive as soon as they turned sixteen. Today’s coming-of-age generation seems to be a lot less interested in having a car or even driving. Many of those who live in cities ride a bike instead of a car. And many of the twenty-something are not even interested in learning to drive. Those who do have a license forego owing a car preferring the share-a-car idea now popping up everywhere. If the trend continues, it’s only a matter of time before huge cars will be relegated to the dinosaur pile.
Recently I have been charged with emptying a relative’s home as she has moved into a care facility. She has exquisite things that I know for a fact she spent a small fortune to acquire, but I can’t seem to be able to get anyone interested. For example, she has a set of superb gold-trimmed china which antique dealers say nobody wants these days. And I hear the same type of remarks from boomers who have decided to downsize. They can’t sell many of the lovely things that brightened their lives for decades. The new generation prefers simpler things. Accumulating stuff is not their thing.
Some experts believe this is the result of all the forever-speeding-ahead technological advances. Kids today don’t own the things we had to have. We bought CDs and DVDs to enjoy in our home, and today find ourselves with piles and piles of them. By contrast, the new generation downloads the music they want to hear so there are no actual physical CDs to deal with. The same for movies and videos. Today, young people simply choose the movie they want to see from the choices offered through television. Long gone are the days when you had to go to the video store to rent a movie.
And with advances in photography, physical photos are becoming a thing of the past. Photos are available for viewing on laptops, tablets or other devices, not in photo albums like we used to keep them. There are some advantages to having photos stored electronically. They don’t fade or yellow like our photos tended to do over the years. So will our kids appreciate getting all our old photo albums? Probably not. To circumvent the problem, two years ago I had all my all photos and slides (remember those?) transferred unto CDs and gave one to each of my children for Christmas. They really appreciated the gesture, and it is something they can pass on to their own children later on. Although, that might be a problem. I am told that CDs are becoming a thing of the past as many new computers don’t even have ports for them. Today it’s flash drives.
So what will happen to the CDs of photos I gave my children if their children can’t view them? I don’t worry about it; I’m sure someday they will be able to transfer them into some form of cyber storage. However, I do worry about getting rid of my relative’s things today as well as my own in due course when I downsize. If I have a yard sale, the new generation will certainly not show up. Young people are quite satisfied to travel light.
Alternative Medicine
I believe that, at times, alternative medicine can work wonders as an adjunct to traditional treatments. For example, I have used acupuncture very successfully to eliminate severe pain caused by neuralgia. Traditional medicine could only offer painkillers which were not the permanent solution that acupuncture proved to be. Many people who suffer from arthritis look to acupuncture to relieve their pain for several weeks at a time instead of taking traditional painkillers on an ongoing basis.
I am the first to admit that not all alternative therapies are worth considering. Case in point, we hear more and more about the benefits of drinking “liquid gold” i.e. one’s urine. Its proponents, or urophagists (the technical term for urine drinkers), say that traces of substances that cause illness are secreted through urine and that when these are reintroduced into the body antibodies are produced to fight the problem. Proponents add that urine drinking eliminates the need for medication or surgery, yet people in China and India have been drinking liquid gold for centuries and have not eliminated the need for medical attention.
Although it is said that urine is safe to consume unless someone has an infection I think I’ll stick to tea. It has a lower grossness factor.
When it comes to alternative therapies, I think we should all make certain we fully understand how they work. I don’t think I would object to beer baths now the rage in spas in some parts of Europe. The idea is that beer rejuvenates the skin while soothing muscles and joints to reduce the use of traditional painkillers. However, I would think twice before getting maggot debridement therapy although it has surfaced because of antibiotic-resistant bacteria. It is reported that maggots can actually dissolve infected tissue where antibiotics have proven useless. Who knows? This might one day replace antibiotic treatments.
And leech therapy used for blood detoxification is being hailed by some celebrities as having rejuvenating properties. Perhaps that’s true, but once after swimming in a lake I was covered with leeches when I got out. I can testify to the fact that having to pull them out one after the other negated any possible positive effect, in my mind at least!
Problems of Aging
After we reach the top of the hill at 50, our bodies are more prone to experiencing minor problems. Luckily, we easily learn to live with them. That’s especially true of digestive problems. There comes a time when we all must adjust what we ingest.
Take coffee, for example. While most of us enjoyed it for years at any time of the day without problems, we suddenly come to the realization that an after-dinner cup begins to play havoc with our sleep patterns. The solution is to adapt by replacing coffee with a cup of herbal tea, or by switching to decaf in the evening. When other drinks or foods cause problems for our digestion, usually the adjustment is easy to enough. People who become lactose intolerant simply switch to lactose-free milk, and so on.
Other problems cannot be solved so easily. Case in point, my own problem. I recently found out after travelling a bumpy road for a while that I have become intolerant of chocolate which causes me digestive challenges. However, after discussions with my GP, I learned that an allergy to chocolate is very rare indeed, and that I must be intolerant of other ingredients mixed in with the chocolate, like milk, nuts, and so on. To say that, like most people, I always loved chocolate would be putting it mildly, so I am now on a quest for pure chocolate so I can enjoy its taste without problems. So far so good, and it’s much better than having to give it up entirely. With Christmas fast coming into view, I am relieved that my life doesn’t have to be entirely chocolate free.
And I can still smell it, so why should I complain. Far more troublesome would be a food intolerance/allergic reaction that would make me swell up or have respiratory issues as some people face.
As we adjust to the challenges of aging, the secret to being happy is in my view quite simple: we must be grateful that despite its challenges we are privileged to be able to age. Many people were not given that opportunity.
Dazzling the Grandchildren
Unlike a couple of generations ago when people did not move as often and as far as people do today, grandparents usually lived within easy distance from their children and grandchildren. Today many of us must accept that more often than not we have long-distance relationships with our family members. We may miss not seeing them regularly however, as we all know, we make up for it when we do spend time with our loved ones.
There are many ways of keeping in touch and being part of our grandchildren’s lives no matter how young they are and how far they live. With today’s communications tools, there are many choices available, and since children seem to learn computer skills in a flash, it’s a question of finding what we like best. E-mailing is, of course, an easy way to write to our grandchildren on a daily basis. And it can become an interesting learning tool because their replies will help them formulate their thoughts into words.
But, being from an older generation, I find there is something to be said for the old-fashioned snail mail. Immersed in a world of non tangible communications, youngsters love having a letter or a card they can touch and show around to the rest of the family. To say nothing of it being a source of pride when talking with their friends.
And the telephone is the fastest and shortest mean of bringing everyone close no matter the distance that separates them. A call at a regular day and time will be something the grandkids—and grandparents—are sure to look forward to.
Home Life
As I was taking in a home design trade show at a suburban hotel recently, I was approached by a smiling woman. “Do you feng shui? she asked, clearly anticipating a positive reply. Huh? was my initial reaction. I answered that I knew little about it, so she was very happy to expand on the benefits of this ancient Chinese philosophy.
While learning all about feng shui cannot be done in a day, the woman impressed upon me its benefits to insure health and good fortune. I listened for a while before moving on, somewhat baffled. As one Chinese woman once told me, just like Chinese medicine, feng shui is deep and complex with many layers to study and understand.
Followers of the ancient art believe that properly positioning furniture and light in one’s home insures there are no blockages that could hinder energy. I understood it to mean that clutter in all its forms has to be minimal. Something many people fail to see. Case in point, a friend who was looking for a condo asked me to accompany him on one visit. Before we went in, the agent said, “Lots of furniture,” and he was not kidding. It seemed that pieces of furniture of every kind, from bookcases and cabinets, to chairs and tables occupied every inch of the available space. I felt overwhelmed and remembered that it went against the principles of feng shui, however I never did find out if the sellers felt that the energy in their home was blocked.
But they did have an aquarium which according to feng shui can attract more happiness. Although I enjoy watching fish swim in the large aquarium my dentist displays in his waiting room, I remain skeptical that they could influence how I feel because I would worry about feeding the fish properly and cleaning the aquarium.
Like most things in life, feng shui should be approached with a spirit of positivity.
Vigilance
Recently, as my passport was about to expire, I got my picture taken in order to renew it. When the photographer showed me the photo I gasped. That couldn’t possibly be me! He was quick to point out that when he took a course so he could take passport photos the first thing they were told was that if a photo looked good, it wasn’t suitable! That was supposed to make me feel better, I imagine, but it made me realize that everybody is in the same boat. It seems most people hate their “official” photos, be it for a passport or a driver’s license.
None of us can change an official photo, but there are other things we can control . One day, deciding to use a certificate I had received as a present for half a day at a local spa, I called for an appointment. After the arrangements were made, I was asked for a credit card number. I pointed out that this was a gift and that it had already been paid. “We know that,” the lady at the other end said, “but we need a credit card number because we’ll need to charge $25 for every ten minutes you’re late.” I was astonished. I know businesses try to get as much as they can out of their clients, but that was ridiculous. I simply told her that I wasn’t allowed to have a credit card to which she didn’t know what to say. I imagine no one had ever said anything like that!
I have credit cards, of course, but I suspected that with a number on file the spa could easily entice clients to charge products during their visit. And that proved to be the case. After getting a facial, I was offered a variety of products that a person my age had to have, I was told. Luckily I learned along the highway of life not to be swayed when someone uses age as a reason to buy a product, especially the expensive ones.
Last year, I read on line about a new expensive cream that could erase wrinkles. It was being offered for a short time for only a few dollars. I decided to try it, and of course had to give a credit card number to pay those few dollars. I realized that the fine print said that a new jar would be sent to me every few weeks and my credit card charged a ridiculous amount accordingly. I tried the product but was not convinced it was especially effective, so I cancelled my credit card and replaced it with a new one to avoid further charges for the cream.
Sellers may not be happy with clients who manage their credit cards rather than being managed by them, but in an age when credit card numbers are stored “forever” it pays to be vigilant.
New Words
Language is a living thing. Some words fall out of favor while new ones regularly become part of the lexicon. Case in point, a minor celeb being interviewed recently talked of the unrich. Interesting word you won’t find in the dictionary, at least not in mine. The concept it brings to mind is easy to understand. Some people are rich while others are not, therefore they can be thought of as unrich although it is far from being a focused word. Unrich can certainly cover anyone from those who make what one of my aunts called “a comfortable living” to homeless people.
Many word formulations begin to appear as a result of efforts to be politically correct. People are no longer very short or very tall, they are vertically challenged, people are no longer crippled, they are physically tested; people are no longer gay but rather embracing an alternative lifestyle, people are not getting older, they are simply no longer immature, a point reached at varying ages, of course, by both the rich and unrich.
New words appear all the time in this age of accelerating innovations. Hashtag is in every tweeter’s lexicon these days, but it’s not a new symbol. In my day, it was simply the “number” symbol. It still is as far as I know. And on social media, you’re free to like something, or unlike; your choice. The online dictionaries are forever adding new words or new meanings to old words, or breathing new life into nouns and adjectives by making them verbs.
And it doesn’t apply only to new technology. These dictionaries list things like chandelier earrings and double denim (wearing a denim top or jacket with jeans or a denim skirt, a fashion faux-pas it seems). Also new in dictionaries are “food” words like deskfast (eating breakfast at one’s desk); dirty food (junk food); and demitarian (reducing one’s consumption of meat and animal products); without forgetting everyone’s favorite: the cronut (a cross between a doughnut and a croissant).
As a no longer immature unrich, I find trying to keep up a lot of fun.
A History Lesson
We all remember fondly our parents’ and grandparents’ history lessons, don’t we? I mean the lessons like: When I was your age, we walked three miles to school through a foot of snow. (You almost expected that to be followed by: even in summer!) Why do you need such a big place? When your mother and I got married we lived in a closet in your grandparents’ basement. (A closet, really? I guess they never exaggerated in the old days.)
The history varied according to the subject at hand. When it came to the price of food, we all heard things like: I remember when we used to get a loaf of bread for five cents. Or when the subject was gas, it cost 25 cents a gallon back then. We rolled our eyes and wondered why older folks felt it was necessary to make such remarks. Of course, more things change more they remain the same.
Recently, as I was talking about The Beatles with one of my sons, my grandson took his attention away from the video game he was playing long enough to comment that he had learned all about beetles at school the day before. I realized that my history is quite different than that of my grandchildren. Like my parents I remember walking to school and I also remember buying a loaf of bread for less than a dollar.
With all the changes we see today, I wonder what my grandchildren will one day tell their children and their grandchildren. While we might say that we remember a time when there was no computers or cell phones, our grandchildren are more likely to reminisce about the newest gadgets now on the market and those which will soon be appearing, like the glasses that connect you directly to the Internet so you can secretly be online while walking in a crowd or while talking to people. With these glasses, presumably, a keyboard will not be necessary as you will be able to dictate emails. Will that mean that people will be going around talking out loud, but not talking to each other directly? As one journalist wrote: You will be able to make visual phone calls and see the other person in your glasses while cycling – or crashing!
Then again, as technology becomes “out there” people may simply choose to tune out altogether. That may mean that our grandchildren will reminisce about the time when they decided to go back to the day when people talked to each other. What a concept!
To Gray or Not To Gray
We’ve all been through it. The day we saw our first gray hair. We were shocked. Much too young, we thought, at 30 or 40, or even 50 for the lucky ones. But, like all the curves life throws at us, we learned to live with it even after that first hair went frolicking and quickly spread its color, or lack thereof, to a bunch of others.
Women quickly rally by visiting their hair salon so a colorist can hide any and all signs of aging. On the other hand, men overall seem to take the appearance of gray hair in stride. After all, it’s been drilled into us that men with graying hair look distinguished while women look old although that’s far from true. A few years ago, I accompanied my sister to her doctor’s appointment and met the physician, an attractive woman somewhere in her mid-forties with shoulder-length nearly all white hair. She looked stunning. Since then, I don’t equate graying hair with the need to hide it.
That inequality between men and women when it comes to hair color is not lost on young children. My sister’s young grandson asked her one day why grandmas didn’t have white hair, only grandpas did. Her son was quick to retort that the reason was that men think harder! Don’t write, I didn’t say it!
After you’ve accepted that your hair will never return to its natural color, you see your children in their 40s begin to follow your lead and sprout gray. You sigh as you secretly think that the human condition can indeed be a bitch. Luckily it favors everyone the same way.
Of course, a graying head is nothing compared to the shock when you discover that your eyebrows are also being attacked by gray. One day as I was putting on makeup my eye caught what I thought might be a gray hair above my right eye. Had to be the light in the bathroom, so I went to the window with a mirror and sure enough my eyebrows had taken a lesson from the hair on my head and decided it was time to show who was boss. I calmly tweezed it out, and luckily it didn’t have time to produce a progeny. But then again, why worry. I mean with ever changing styles, gray may soon be what “every woman should want.” I say this because marketing to women can be crazy. Why else would a company that markets navy blue lipstick be making a killing?
Back in the Day
Adults have a reputation for boring kids with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were back in the day. What with walking twenty-five miles to school every day...uphill... barefoot...yadda, yadda, yadda!
But now it is hard to not notice how the youth of today has it easy compared to when we were growing up! I wonder if they appreciate how easy things are for them.
= We grew up without the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up, in the card catalog!!
= There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter with a pen! Then had to walk all the way to the corner to put it in the mailbox! Stamps were 10 cents!
= There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio. There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and when ejected the tape would come undone rendering it useless.
= We didn't have Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal and had to call back. There weren't any cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". Think of the horror of not being in touch with someone 24/7! And we didn't have Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your boss, your bookie, the collection agent ... You had to pick it up to find out!
= We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination.
= You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! When it came to channel surfing you had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel.
=There was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Unlike today’s spoiled kids we had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons.
= And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove!
=And our parents told us to stay outside and play all day long. No electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside you were doing chores!
= As for car seats, mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!
The question then is: How long would today’s kids last in the “back then” world?
Gift Giving
I don’t know about you, but I find that deciding on an appropriate gift—be it for a birthday or Christmas—for adult children can sometimes be a challenge. Their homes are well equipped with all sorts of gadgets, and do they really need another sweater?
There are other options of course like the latest bestseller, that is if they haven’t already downloaded it for their e-readers. Or tickets for a show or a sporting event are always nice to receive, but almost impossible to obtain if the children live out-of-town.
To me, a gift doesn’t have to mean something you purchase. I think that children appreciate receiving something that is being passed on, be it an exquisite set of glassware or a piece of art that you have owned for some time—or inherited—and no longer need nor use. These types of gifts will no doubt make their way down the line to their children and beyond in due course where they will be appreciated all over again.
Such gift giving is a valuable tool when it comes to the downsizing we all must face at some point. It ensures that our things are going to good homes. Of course, one should be sure the adult children will appreciate the things we want to give them. One way to find out is to simply ask them. “What do you think of that lamp?” Or “I wonder how much I could get for my mother’s tea set? Unless you want it, of course.” Their answers will ensure the right person gets the right gift rather than the recipient thinking where to hide this “thing” while seeming so very grateful!!
Many of you must remember the film The Bird Cage, more specifically the rather provocative design on the china the hosts used to serve dinner. That was the subject of conversation between two women seated behind us as we waited for the film feature to start at the local cinema recently. From what I gathered one of them had such a set of china which she inherited from an uncle years before. She never dared throw it out and kept it packed and well hidden in her attic, however now that she and her husband were thinking of selling their house, she didn’t know what to do with the china. She would be ashamed to give it to her daughter, she said, so her companion offered what she considered the ideal solution. “Give it to a residence for blind people.”
New Age
Like a lot of you, as I go through my daily morning routine, I listen to the radio to keep abreast of the latest news, weather forecast, and so on. Recently, I was totally shocked when I heard the newscaster refer to a woman who had been mugged as “elderly.” The woman was 64 years old!
So, if young people—as the newscaster is—consider 64 as elderly, what do you say about people in their 70s or 80s? I personally think that mature would be a good word for everyone 50 and older, no matter their age. Of course, I suppose those in their 90s could be called elderly, but certainly no one else.
Don’t you find that age has undergone rejuvenation in the last few decades? Today, 50 is the new 30, and 60 is the new 40, and so on. Because today’s mature people have access to better health care, improved nutrition and are aware of the benefits of keeping active, they seem to age in a new way when compared to their parents and grandparents. I remember a day when people who were retiring at 65 seemed to immediately go downhill. They rocked on the front porch, literally, and looked at the world go by instead of being a participant in life.
Because of a large gap in ages with my siblings, I have nephews and nieces who are now retiring. And I can assure you that they don’t look “elderly.” They are all engaged in a variety of activities and give little thought to the number of candles on their birthday cake. Life has so much more to offer them. And every other retiree.
But, trust me, not everyone is looking at age in a new way. That is painfully apparent whenever your year of birth is required for security reasons to access accounts and such. As you give it, you can see the clerk’s eyes move ever so slightly as he/she tries to calculate your age. When I’m in a playful mood I recite my year of birth after subtracting a century from it. It’s fun to see the clerk glance at you, not quite sure if he/she heard right but hesitant to ask for a correction. Innocently, I simply say: “Don’t you think I look good for my age?”
Exercising
As we age, we all know that regular exercise is a must if we want to stay healthy and flexible to say nothing of reducing arthritic pain, depression and anxiety. While some boomers feel they should be doing more to keep their body in shape, it’s not always easy to choose the right type of exercise when facing the reality that things like long-distance running must be left to the younger crowd.
Personally, I don’t see the necessity of joining a gym. People often think that the expensive membership fee will be an incentive to go regularly, but that’s rarely the case as health club owners can attest. I also don’t see the need to buy expensive equipment like a treadmill which often ends up being a play field for spiders. It is so much simpler to walk outside. Granted, the weather can be nasty at times, but that’s why we have large malls where you can walk freely and securely as you window shop. According to AARP, overweight people who walk 30 minutes a day, five times a week, reduce their risk of diabetes by nearly 60 percent.
A stationary bike, which is a good choice to reduce stress on joints, can be used indoors year round as you watch your favorite TV program or as you listen to your favorite music. Personally, I prefer to bike outside from May to the end of October. I find it’s a wonderful way to breathe fresh air while enhancing cardiovascular fitness. If you decide to get a bike, be sure to try it out and have it adjusted to your body shape and size.
A lot of boomers look to the pool for their exercises. Water workouts are offered in most communities where a trainer guides participants in specific exercises. It improves muscular strength and increases flexibility to say nothing of the cardiac benefits. The water provides resistance and you can exercise your entire body in less time.
Repeating the same exercise routine every day though won’t ensure you stay fit. A complete program includes flexibility, balance and strength training. The latter is obtained with lifting weights and you don’t even have to buy weights because you can use household things like filled bottles. Doing yoga is good balance training. The idea is to mix it all up in order to get maximum value for your efforts.
The War on Aging
We all want to look good as we age, and hopefully younger than our real age. We all know that good nutrition and regular exercise are required if we want to look and feel our best. But the war on aging does not end there. There are sorts of procedures and ideas which can help erase or slow the march of time. However, I think the struggle to look young can take the fun out of life.
It certainly does when you consider some of the things some women are doing in the hope of looking young. Some celebrities swear that a cleanse makes them feel younger while others are rumored to rely on the wacky. Case in point, some use bird poop facials! Not just any poop mind you, nightingale droppings. Poop, really? I prefer to look my age, thank you.
Of course, celebrities of all stripes have always been obsessed with looking young. In the old days, some actresses were known to use carefully concealed surgical tape for a homemade facelift. Today, of course, the anti-aging industry has become big business, and face lifts are often replaced with less invasive solutions such as laser treatments or fillers. And, of course, there are many so-called miracles cures and pills on the market which treat aging not as a natural process, but rather as an illness.
Today’s baby boomers want to grow older in a more elegant fashion than their parents did which no doubt accounts for hair color being such big business today. Men with gray hair are perceived as looking distinguished, while women rush to hide gray as soon as it makes it appearance because they feel that men judge them for getting older. Yet men see older women like Helen Mirren and Judi Dench as projecting confidence about their looks. Like most European women, the goal is to look well, rather than young, for one’s age, which means more time to relish and enjoy life.
We all know Joan Rivers went under the knife a few times to fight aging. While her face looks somewhat contorted as a result, I must say that while she is now 80, she does not look it. Of course, the professional makeup and the expensive clothes do help, but it’s her sense of humor about aging that keeps her as a favorite among comedians. She is not afraid to say it like it is. Recently, she was describing that she was so nervous before an appearance that she had to change her diaper. She was not ashamed to say it like it is: older women often have bladder control problem.
Accepting that the war on aging is full of subtle battles we can’t win will prevent what I consider “aging anxiety” from intruding into our lives and looks. A sure way to project style as we age.
Grandparents Day
Mark your calendar. Grandparents Day is coming. Founded by Marian McQuade of West Virginia to entice grandchildren to tap into the wisdom of their grandparents, it gained momentum when President Jimmy Carter proclaimed in 1978 that Grandparents Day would be celebrated the first Sunday after Labor Day which this year will be September 8th.
Mothers Day and Fathers Day are well advertised and celebrated. Why has Grandparents Day been almost forgotten? Maybe we, grandparents, are partially to blame. Why don’t we make sure our children know about the day so that families can get together to mark the occasion and the grandkids can listen to stories from the past. I know my grandchildren are always fascinated when I recount how things were when I was young (in my case when dinosaurs roamed the earth!). Seeing how things have changed over the years, it makes them aware that they too will see changes they can’t even begin to fathom at the moment.
Grandparents Day should be a day of celebration in all families, but unfortunately it is not. As we all know, many grandparents do not have access to their grandchildren for a variety of reasons. It’s a terrible injustice, except of course in rare exceptions where the grandparents may be a bad influence on the young ones. For the others, it is no doubt a day they prefer to forget. There are several organizations which help grandparents reconnect with their grandchildren, but being open to discussing frankly with adult children/in-laws the source of the problem is not without its merit.
A cousin of mine can certainly attest to that. She decided she had enough after being barred from seeing her three young granddaughters because of her son had died. She decided she would no longer deprive her grandchildren of the benefits of having a grandmother in their lives. She called her daughter-in-law and made her case. Both women were deeply hurting because of the death, and it took more than one discussion, but today my cousin spends time with her grandchildren at least twice a month.
Luckily for all of us, hope springs eternal!
