Like No Other

How can the year 2020 be qualified? It has certainly been interesting, some people say, but I think a better description is that it has been a year like no other in our lifetime. And life will continue to be surprising as we look forward to a new year when the pandemic will surely be conquered. At least that’s the hope we all have that vaccines will do their job.

            The last few months have led us to a Christmas that will be like no other we have experienced. We must continue to be vigilant so we can save lives which will mean celebrations will be much quieter and often away from loved ones. But we can do it. I mean, we have come this far and just a few more weeks will lead us to the light at the end of the tunnel.

            The anti-maskers will continue to defy orders and, as been suggested, those who get the dreaded virus should be relegated to the end of the line when it comes to getting medical care. I agree that it’s probably the only way to go right now. I mean can’t they see the rising number of deaths? Can’t they see that they too can get sick? Let’s hope they come to their senses.

            No matter how each of us marks the end of year celebrations, let’s be mindful of all those who are sick and all those who are grieving. Those of us who have not been touched by the virus should be so very grateful. We have received a great gift that will make the Season special as we enjoy all the decorations people are making a special effort to make especially impressive. They are a bright spot in a year like no other.                

            As I do every year at this time, I am taking a few weeks off from my blog to concentrate on staying in touch with family and friends by writing or by making full use of the video possibilities at our disposal. As long as we can see each other digitally, all is well is it not?

            Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year full of hope to all of you who read my blog. I will be back in January.

 

Writing History

For so many of us the pandemic has meant that our social and group activities have been seriously reduced for some time now. The end result has been more hours spent in and around the house. Many people have used that extra time to do some impressive home renovations or, simply, what I call home adjustments: making better use of space, clearing unwanted clutter, and so forth. All very positive pursuits which have resulted in personal satisfaction according to those I know who have done it.

            For my part, in the last few months I have been spending time writing my memoirs. No, I don’t have any great feats to talk about, like having been the recipient of a Nobel prize, but I wanted my children and grandchildren to know about the experiences of those who have come before them and how life has unfolded in recent decades.

            The more I wrote, the more I realized that some of the events I was writing about were interesting from a historical point of view as well as from a family point of view. I think my grandchildren will be fascinated by the fact that not so long ago people led productive and happy lives without having a phone stuck to them at all times. Then I realized that the number of changes I have seen over the years is simply amazing. So my ongoing writing is not only for my family but also for me. There is satisfaction in knowing how we have progressed. A few decades ago I was the first one in my group to get a computer at home. Of course, it was basically a word processor, but I still remember how fascinated I was that I could simply delete copy with a few key strokes rather than with an eraser as had been the case when using a typewriter, a machine today’s kids may never have seen.

I think that all older people should consider writing about their experiences. Of course, not everyone likes to write, a relative told me recently, so I suggested she simply record her memories; the voice will be an additional personal aspect for her family.

I can attest to the fact that being busy with an interesting project helps reduce the worry about how much longer the pandemic will last. Even in dark days there’s always a light somewhere, is there not?

 

Birthdays

The pandemic has altered our lives, but one thing that hasn’t changed is the fact that birthdays have not stopped. They still come around on a regular basis. We may not celebrate the way we did just a few months ago, but we still age and birthdays don’t let us forget.

There are countless sayings about age, for example that it’s just a number, but the one I like best is that the higher the number the faster it shows up. Those of us of a certain age can certainly feel that each new birthday appears to spring up faster and faster. What is scarier, however, is when your children talk about how old they are and your grandchildren bemoan how fast time flies.

In my family the age difference of siblings is wide. An older sister who married young has children who are now retired. A bit of a shock for me because I never imagined that I could ever become a retiree’s auntie!

Even if time seems to go faster as we age, we are all in the same boat and each day is a blessing. Birthdays should make us aware of the danger of rusting physically and emotionally especially in the current pandemic. A birthday is another chance to find new ways of living with zest without forgetting to laugh because a day when we have not laughed is a wasted day.

Even if my grandson no longer asks me if I am younger or older than 100, I can still take steps to one day reach that number.

                                      

 

 

 

 

BLACK CLOUDS

I find that these days so many people are feeling down in the dump, sad, depressed, with little energy. Of course, the big culprit if the pandemic. Since covid had shown up, like it or not, our lives and activities have been disrupted.

             Many of us have been unable to visit loved ones except through video connections, social activities have been reduced or are completely unavailable, travel has been drastically altered, many people have seen their jobs being put on hold for a while, and some of us had to isolate because we got sick or someone close to us did.           

            It’s no surprise that depression is rampant. We are facing an unprecedented challenge for which we were not prepared and it is changing us. But that does not mean that there is no hope. As posters everywhere remind us, there will be a cure or vaccine, and in time we will welcome a beautiful rainbow of hope.  

            In the meantime there are things we can do to chase away the black clouds, or at least make them less menacing. We have to remind ourselves to not focus on the negativity of that pandemic in our lives by concentrating on the good things we enjoy. As a friend of mine who has suffered from depression over the years puts it: Every night I make a point to identify three things for which I am grateful on that day like getting a phone call from an old friend, anything that shows me that I can still smile. 

            Wise words.   

            She says it makes her feel better and that now it has become a habit which chases away the black clouds, even the menacing ones coming from the pandemic.

 

 

Free to Remember

This November we are free to remember the sacrifices of those who served to ensure our freedom because they did serve. How often do we stop to think about all those who gave up so much for so many of us?

The first time I went to Europe some years ago, I visited two military cemeteries honoring fallen soldiers. The white crosses all in a row as far as the eye could see brought tears to my eyes. A cross for every young man who gave his life for the rest of us. We don’t often think of them but we should. And we should never forget the veterans who came home after giving their all for peace. We owe them an immense debt.

At the ceremonies honoring veterans, we see the dwindling number of older men who served in older wars, but we can’t ignore how many younger veterans there are these days. The ranks of young men and women who served their country in varied far-away places with honor keep growing. Let’s show them we appreciate their sacrifice. That’s the least we can do.  

This November, let’s pay homage to all those who ensured our freedom and make sure our children and grandchildren understand the importance of remembering and paying homage.

Lest we forget, lest they forget.

 

 

SMILE

We all know people who seem to be always going on and on about their problems, their operations, their kids, their aching joints, or whatever else is going on in their lives. And these days the hardship of the pandemic. These people seldom smile and seem to be always searching for the negative side of life.

And, it is not always easy to get away from them (like when they’re relatives) or to get them to change their ways, but it’s worth trying to show them life’s humorous side so they can smile. As my friend Colette says: I tend to bemoan the fact that I used to have a handle on life, but now I simply accept that it broke; sometimes I stop to think, and then I forget to do it; and you can be sure that whatever hits the fan will seek me out even if I’m hiding.

I can only commiserate. I know I still got it, but nobody wants to see it!

Grouches pull you down, and some of them are alive simply because it’s illegal to kill them, so smile. As Phyllis Diller said: a smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

And don’t forget what the old song says:

You must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worth-while

If you just smile

 

 

 

 

Brightening the World

As I was taking my daily walk on Sunday in the invigorating autumnal air I came across an interesting scene. At one house a man was putting up a large Christmas wreath on the wall at the second floor level, while across the street a couple was admiring the work they had put into a somewhat elaborate Halloween display.  

            My first thought was that Halloween was just on time while Christmas was way too early. My second thought: was it really? Because the Christmas wreath was being put up by a man on a tall ladder, he might simply have decided that it would be a lot more challenging to do it later in colder and snowy weather.

            But I realized that he might have had something else in mind. Because we are living in such dark times any light that can lift our spirits is certainly very welcome. Many people began putting up lights around their homes in the spring and summer to brighten their world. And these multi-coloured lights still continue to cheer us up in a season of diminishing daylight as we continue to struggle to become covid-free. We trust that rainbows will finally reward us for doing our part to stop the virus in its track by wearing masks and social distancing.

            Yet, not everyone believes that masks work despite the advice of health experts. They believe governments spread the virus so they can control people. Really? If that were the case, it seems to me that our leaders would have chosen to do something somewhat less expensive. After all, as their economies struggle, their revenues continue on a downward slope. Why would anyone do such a thing? And all the governments around the world at once?

            Instead of burning their masks, these people should show some respect and join the rest of us who continue to take steps to face and conquer our common enemy.

 

 Animals for Comfort and Health

Companion animals improve our lives in many ways. They are certainly a loving presence that can calm and comfort, especially in this time of covid isolation faced by many, especially older individuals who live alone.

 It is said that petting an animal lowers blood pressure, plus having a dog that you must walk every day forces you to exercise which does your ticker good, no matter your age, while oxygenating your whole being.

And dogs can serve us. Arlene, a recently retired friend who lives in the country, now spends her time volunteering as a trainer of service dogs for those who are deaf or blind. “For me it’s a labor of love. We all have to give back, but I think I’m getting back a lot more than I give,” she points out. She says that therapy dogs provide help for humans on many levels, anything from educational, motivational and mental needs, as well as for socialization.

Therapy dogs visit schools and hospices, seniors in hospital and care facilities as well as children undergoing medical treatments, bringing with them love, smiles and pure joy. But they also bring comfort in many other areas. I recently read about a program which gives children who struggle with reading out loud an opportunity to practice by reading to a therapy dog.

Therapy dogs are also used in disaster areas to help people cope with very stressful situations. I’ve even read of therapy dogs helping those with an uncontrolled fear of dentists. I may talk to my dentist about this since I remember (perhaps you do too) less than fondly the old noisy drills at the root of my apprehension of the dental chair. But I digress. 

In our current electronic age, therapy dogs may be needed to help those with an addiction to texting. Recently our local media reported that a young woman killed herself in the subway while texting. Instead of entering the train through the door as she assumed she was doing while distracted by texting, she stepped between two cars and was crushed. A therapy dog could have prevented the tragedy.

While I am a dog person, some people prefer cats. Cats can certainly bring comfort and be a welcome presence in a home, but I don’t believe cats can be trained to be of service to their owners the way a dog can. Of course, on the plus side, while they can help people cope with stressful situations by simply being close they don’t need to go for a walk a couple or more times a day. A definite welcome element for those who are older or living with mobility limitations.

 

 

 

 

A Matter of Perspective

 After an accident that resulted in ruptured shoulder ligaments, my friend Wayne is in terrible pain these days. The doctor promises that he will heal fully, but of course since he is in the booming age range, he knows the recovery will be longer than if he were a younger man. However, he is philosophical about it. These things happen, he says, and you just have to go with it. He adds: when I am tempted to feel sorry for myself I think of all the children in hospital; a lot of them will not make it. That really sobers me up and I don’t complain.

Wayne told me this on a day when I was feeling sad for a variety of reasons, covid being high on the list. And his great way of looking at the problems that befall all of us as the years pile on made me take stock of my own troubles. Were they that serious? I may be afraid of coming down with the corona virus, but I don’t have it and I continue to be vigilant. Other problems can certainly be a pain in the posterior, but they are not permanent. I realized it was time to forget the bad and concentrate on the good.

           My grandchildren are certainly an especially wonderful blessing in my life, so what have I got to complain about? Many people will never know the joys of grandparenting, while others have simply been cut off from seeing their grandchildren for a variety of family problems. I feel very fortunate to be close to my own grandchildren and for being able to see them evolve and be there to love them.

They are delight in my life. But I know I am also important in theirs because when I asked my grandson what he considered the best thing about grandparents, he didn’t hesitate to reply: They know so much stuff!

Couldn’t have said it better myself.