About Guilt

A short while ago, I attended a lecture given by a psychologist. The title was Aging Well, and I found it most interesting. He covered many subjects, but spent quite a bit of time on guilt.

              Guilt is a demanding cohort that suffocates, and if it is not managed it can erupt into fear, he told the audience. What I found especially fascinating was that the subject was included in a lecture to an older crowd.

             The lecturer said that if a sense of culpability settles in the psyche it can lead to problems when people look over their lives when they reach a certain age. He added that everyone does examine his or her life at some point or other, but he wonders if it’s a good thing if it results in guilt.

             Guilt is the result of offenses we may have committed or of things we feel we should have done. When we feel guilty for disparaging someone close to us yesterday or last week, a phone call or an e-mail can quickly repair any damage.  But, he said, when we feel guilty about something that took place years ago, even decades ago, there isn’t much we can do to repair any damage we may have caused. Feeling guilty about it can only be a royal waste of energy.

            The speaker said that those who were raised in an environment where perfection was always expected can be especially vulnerable to feelings of guilt that, often, remain for a lifetime. He added that seeking perfection in all things is a trait that is not easily tamed. But, he insisted, we should all try if we want to age well. The secret is to forgive ourselves and look to the future instead of the past.

            Wise advice as far as I am concerned. I think too many people look to the past when there is so much ahead.