To Advertise or Not to Advertise

I don’t know about you, but once in a while when I’m looking for something I’m hoping to buy second hand I visit websites where everything, it seems, is offered. I spent some time recently on an especially cold Sunday reading ads, and I must say it opened my eyes as to what people can come up with. Of course, there are always erotic and porno ads and ads from married men looking for “discreet” meetings and all the rest, but here are some of the most unusual ones I found.

One man was asking for help in finding his flying saucer because he needed to get back to his planet for a dental appointment. (Hopefully it’s a planet far, far away!)

Another man was looking for women because he wanted to start a harem. (I thought about applying, but reality soon won out. Think of the competition!)

A woman placed an ad because she was looking for the perfect man. (I silently wished her luck with that!)

Then there was the man who advertised his willingness to impregnate women. (Of course, he’d do it willingly!)

And then there was the meditation group looking for new members. And, oh, it’s a nude group. (My first thought was: Are they really able to keep their eyes closed as they meditate!)

A young man was asking for help in developing an air conditioner for baby strollers. (Wonder what he was smoking!)

Another young man claiming to be normal said he was into feet worship and was looking for women of all ages so he could massage their feet. (How does he feel about hammer toes and bunions I wondered!)

And a couple was looking for people to do house chores naked. (That’s not something I’d be willing to do. I’d probably trip over my boobs!)

And there was an ad from a man who claimed to be in his 90s who was looking for   a “mature” woman (he specified not older than 40) because there was still fire in his belly. (Hopefully that fire will not spread!)

Finally, I saw an ad for a young man offering his services as a math tutor to people of all ages. (I might ask him to help me with this one: If I travel at 60 miles per hour and carry 6 oranges, how old am I?)