Conflicting Medical Advice

 Medical experts were asked if it is time to ease the COVID lockdowns.  

Allergists were in favour of scratching it, but Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
 
Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but Neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve.
 
Obstetricians felt certain everyone was labouring under a misconception, while Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.
 
Many Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while Paediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"
 
Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while Radiologists could see right through it.
 
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and Pharmacists claimed it would be a bitter pill to swallow.
 
Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter."
 
Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but Urologists were pissed off by the whole idea.
 
Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, and Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.  

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to assholes.