Helping Those Who Grieve

In our journey we all encounter relatives or friends who are grieving a loss. After all, grieving is a universal human experience, but it’s not always easy to know how to best express our concern and care especially when people are not only grieving but also dealing with the effect of a pandemic .  I recently read a few articles on the subject, and here are the suggestions that resonated most with me.

Don’t compare experiences. Each grieving is very personal.

Do ask questions so you can connect by showing you want to share their pain.

Don’t minimize the situation.

Don’t give compliments. People in pain don’t need to be told how wonderful they are.

Do stay in the present moment, but if the grieving person talks about the past, join them.

Do not offer your opinions. What works for you may not be for them.

Don’t talk about later. At the moment that future is irrelevant.

Do let them cry. Shedding tears is a necessary component of the grieving process.

Most of all: show up and listen.

It has been my experience that people do not need to go on and on in the hope of helping the grieving person. We just need to show up. That is the best way to express how we care. Even if few words are exchanged, the grieving person will remember and cherish the expression of love.

And for those of us who are grieving, no matter the inevitable changes we all have to face, making a determined effort to concentrate on the other bountiful aspects of our lives may be the secret to replacing tears with a smile.