She’s the life of the party if it last until 8 p.m.
I’m very good to opening childproof caps. I use a hammer.
I smile a lot because I can’t hear what you’re saying.
When a little boy asked his grandfather how old he was, the man replied: I’m not sure. The little boy told his grandfather to look in his underwear. “Mine says I’m 4 to 6.”
A grandson asked: Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike? Answer: You’re both old.
Grandparents are funny. When they bend over, you hear gas leak and they blame the dog.
A grandmother spent time with her grandchild teaching her colors. When the little girl was leaving she said: Grandma, you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself.
When a little boy learned that his grandfather was 80, he asked: Did you start at 1?
When does a little old lady say the f*** word? When another little old lady yells BINGO.
Some days the supply of available swear words is insufficient to meet my demands.
And:
When I die, I want my last word to be: I left a million dollars in the ….
