Empty Nesting

The last child has left the nest, what’s next?

          Raising a family is not an easy task, but like most things in life the many sacrifices we make are balanced with wonderful joys. We change diapers, but rejoice in those first unsteady steps. We help with homework, but applaud our children’s good grades. Higher education is costly, but we sing from the rooftops at the sight of the beautiful calligraphy on an offspring’s certificate.         

          We spend many years in our role as parents so it’s no wonder that we find it difficult to let go. If we have not prepared, there can be an overwhelming sense of emptiness, especially for the mother who has devoted so much time to nurturing.

          As we face the empty nests that our homes suddenly become, we may be tempted to forget that there is a whole brand new life ahead of us—we can redefine that nest and what goes on within its walls. We can now do the many things that family obligations prevented us from even thinking about planning in the past. Free from family responsibilities, we can forge our own future and have time to think of ourselves. No one will ask to borrow your car, and the laundry pile will melt away. There’s more time for friends, travel without worrying about the kids at home, time to take courses, devote more time to a hobby, set periods of time aside to pursue physical activities to counteract the effects of a slower metabolism, put in a hot tub in a now-empty bedroom, fly a kite, play the guitar, paint a beautiful sunset or simply smell the flowers along the way.

          But be forewarned, however, that doing your own thing as an empty nester may not always sit well with your children. No matter their age, they will remain intricately woven into the fabric of your life, and although they may praise your efforts to live life to the fullest, they expect you to be at home, with a home cooked meal being kept warm when they need your help or advice.

          And they want you around even more when the grandchildren begin arriving. Of course, by then you wonder what good deed you did to deserve such bounty. And, funny thing, before you know it your role as an empty nester changes without much warning. It just sort of happens. You find yourself accommodating the unfolding of life. You start looking for a second-hand crib for overnight visits and shop for diapers.

          And the cycle begins again. However, there’s no longer a need to rush. It’s now time to make time for the best of life, because the best is at hand.