Wednesday, September 18, 2019

Helper and helped
It is said that generosity is good for both the helpers and the helped. So, in other words when you ask for assistance you are actually doing someone a favor and it’s good medicine for both you and the one helping you.
            Recently when I needed stronger arms to carry a large box from my car to my front door, a young neighbor offered to help me. When I thanked him he said there was no need because he was very happy to do it. And he did look very pleased to be of service.
Those who help others, in whatever fashion, get a boost of positivity.  In other words giving in whatever form is good for the soul. 
            Of course, many of us hesitate to ask for help. It might be admirable to try and solve our own problems, but asking for help is not only useful, it is beneficial. We may hesitate to ask for help fearing that the answer will be no or that we will not get the help we expect or in the way we want it. For example, a family member may not be available to help with a household project simply because of the timing. Then it becomes a question of being open to the other’s schedule and responsibilities.
            As we all know, stress is a common factor in chronic disease. Asking for help makes us aware that we are not able to handle everything in life. Asking for help connects us to others and reduces stress. Neuroscientific research shows that asking for help can also make us grateful for our relationships. We all want to care for others and be cared for, and that is something that comes into play when help is asked and received.
            And by asking for help we show others that we trust them thus given them an ego boost.
            There are many benefits for helpers. It makes them happy and gives them a sense of purpose, especially those who are no longer “workers” and who can feel out of touch as a result. Older adults who volunteer in their community stave off disease while increasing their life satisfaction. They can even expect to live longer.
They say it is better to give than to receive. Research shows that both sides are better off.