The New Mores

Life certainly has changed in the last few decades when it comes to the ways of society. In my day, at the time dinosaurs roamed the earth, people who were not married did not have sex. It was a privilege reserved for those who were committed to each other. Essentially, people got married so they could have sex, and married quite young compared to today.

Now, of course it’s a race to see how soon in a relationship a couple will have sex.

            Societal mores began to change when couples dared live together before marriage, and that quickly progressed to couples having children before taking vows. The idea was: We’ll get married but only if it works out with the kids.

I’m quite certain that our ancestors must have been spinning in their graves!

            But as the world continues to evolve, today it is not surprising for couples to decide to be a family with children but never marry. Common law is the term, but I certainly remember my parents talking of people shacking up.

According to a woman I recently saw speaking on the subject of sex on television, the revolution has led to some couples having sex before their first date. Say what? In essence, she said, it means: If the sex is good I’ll treat you to dinner and we can decide if we want to continue the relationship. 

            Our ancestors must be spinning ever so faster!

            But wait. We’ve all heard of open marriages of course, but now there’s a new twist on that lifestyle. Some married people now push the limit of their relationship into non-monogamy territory in a novel way because they feel it is unfair to expect one partner to fulfill all their needs. Or so they say. How do they go about it? Both partners have other relationships which are pre-negotiated with their spouse. It is called polyamory. So, by mutual consent, the partners can then explore and enter into other relationships qualified as “full of care.”

What sets this polyamorous view apart from simple cheating is that there is much negotiating and everything is by mutual consent. The lifestyle includes inviting the additional partners to live with the married couple in what one man involved in polyamory calls a “growth experience.”

I don’t know about you, but it seems to me that this growth experience sounds like the perfect setting for murder! I mean, don’t tell me there won’t be some jealousy springing up in that house!

To say nothing of the murky legal aspects of such arrangements especially if children enter the picture.