Wednesday, January 31, 2018

The Freedom of Aging
I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime moan about my body, the wrinkles, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long. I would never trade my amazing family, my wonderful friends, my great life for less gray hair, more hair, or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.
         I don't chide myself
 for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly three story birdhouse that I didn't need, but looks so cool in my yard. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
         I will dance with
myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60's &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.
         I will walk the beach in a swimsuit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old before they know it.
         I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as
well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
         Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved
one, or when a child suffers, or even when your beloved pet dies? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
         I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning grey, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
         As you get
older, it is easier to be positive. You care a lot less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong on occasion.
         So, I like being older. It has set me free.
I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be.